Un-Friend

I have a social network account that I use to play several games, post silly little things, comment on things my friends post and read interesting articles. I think I have under 100 friends. I did not acquire 500 friends to play certain games because I didn't want to received feeds from people I just didn't know. As it is right now I only have feeds to maybe 1/4 of the people on my friends list.
This morning I checked my account and was a little miffed to see several posts from a friend of mine that were quite nasty. They were in reference to the on-going recall happenings. There were also a few comments from others telling him to chill and this wasn't the right place to post his slandering.
I've known this guy since I was 17. He is a hot head who will argue just to argue. He can be dead wrong but will go as far as to become physical in his arguments. He has an alcohol and drug problem as well. Been in rehab several times. Been robbed, been in jail, been in accidents-one that almost killed him and is not claiming to be clean. He lost two brothers to alcohol and has another brother that has been in and out of rehab several times as well. He has lost many friends due to his drinking.
The man had a home repair business that he used as a front. He has not held a regular job since he was 21. Has not filed a tax return since then either. For years he claimed to be self employed but never claimed enough to pay taxes. He is now considered legally blind due to having some issues from birth. He's had several surgeries in the past two years and has now regained 60% of his eyesight.
Thomas hates Walker. His main reason-he feels he is going to lose his benefits. Now, I know some people cannot help the issues dealt them and need assistance to live. There are programs in place for that. However, my issue with him is simply-what have you done for the past 30 or so years that you feel you are owed so much. The county has paid for several rehab stays for you, paid for your surgeries, and now pays you monthly which you supplement with drug sales.
He claims to be clean, except for what he calls medicinal pot. Knowing him he is justifying this is needed for his eyesight issues. Don't get me wrong because he does have some very good qualities. I sat and stared at his posts this morning and considered commenting. Then it hit me-he only rants like this when he has fallen off his wagon. I am willing to bet he has once again slipped back. Once again his friends will try to help him, ones closer to him will suffer his verbal abuse, something bad will happen and he'll check in again. Once again it will be someone else's fault that he failed again. This time it sounds like it's Walkers fault. So instead of commenting I clicked the "unfriend" button.

Borrowing

I detest borrowing things from people, whether it be a dime or a piece of equipment, I have nothing against people who do, I just feel that if the borrowed item is in my possession and it is damaged then it is my responsibility to repair or replace it. Then I may as well purchased what I needed in the first place.
The other day the girls wanted to bake some cupcakes. No problem, so I thought. I went to get the cupcake tins only to find that I now own 1-6 cup tin. After some searching and jogging of my memory I remembered borrowing 2 tins to my sister probably 4 or more months ago. She had to bake a load of cupcakes and only had two tins. So I borrowed them to her. Yesterday I purchased a tin because I am considering the borrowed ones lost forever, along with several DVD's I borrowed her and some other baking items. She is horrible about returning things.
I have a friend that has borrowed from me many times. First off being a tent that was returned with a hole in the floor and a ripped zipper. When mentioned-her and her husband apologized but didn't offer fixing it. She has borrowed numerous items that we've had to go pick up when we've needed them for our own use. This is wrong. When you borrow something, you use it and then your top priority should be to return it in the condition you received it. Take for instance the rug cleaner-I am not going to provide you with the soap as well. You purchase your own soap, clean the unit and return it to me.
I don't know how many oil change wrenches my husband has purchased through out the years due to them not being returned.
There are those I do not mind borrowing to at all. The ones that appreciate the gesture and return things immediately after using it. The ones that will throw in a jug of soup with the return. The ones that I don't have to wonder what happened to my stuff. Maybe a sign out sheet is in order.
My "borrowing" friend loaned me a book a few weeks ago. I am horrible with books and often will return them without reading them because I feel I had them past the alloted time. I asked her about some exercise videos I had borrowed her a few months back. The reply was "yeah I still use them". Well, I would like to use my videos as well. I mentioned returning them as I'd like to use them and got "well let me see if my daughter can copy them for me and then you can have them back". What the hell is that? No, see you return them to me, go to the store like I did and purchase them. About a month ago she returned a dress she had borrowed from me over two years ago. She chuckled when I looked shocked and said she almost took it to the resale shop and had she known I forgot about it she would have.
As I'm typing this I'm trying to think of anything that I would have borrowed and not returned. I can only think of two books.

A Gift

Yesterday was a day of good news. First off my brother in law who had brain surgery four years ago had to have a surgery to adjust his shunt. It was supposed to be a simple surgery but turned out he needed a valve replaced. He did remarkably well and was released after one day. Keeping our fingers crossed that there will be no after effects of this.
On Monday my mother in law had a CT scan to see how effective the chemo was. We didn't expect the results until the 30th-however the coordinator called yesterday to let her know that there were no signs of cancer. Back in August there was an agreement to stop the chemo after the 3rd round of treatment as her blood pressure couldn't be kept under control and she had been in the hospital several times from the effects of the chemo. This was great news. When I spoke with her last night she was still in awe over the results. She is not out of the woods yet as she is still dealing with effects of the stroke she suffered and the blood pressure can still be tweaked a little, but at least now the doom of the cancer has been lifted. As with any cancer victim I'm sure this could just be remission, but for now I guess we'll take whats been dealt. I know my mother in law very well and I'm sure after Christmas she will begin to worry about when its coming back. I suggested she take this gift she has been given a make good use of it. At any rate hopefully we will see some improvement in her attitude toward life.

Mystery Solved

I have a thing about dirty laundry. Not the gossip kind. The kind that piles up in the clothes basket by the washer. I cannot stand going to a laundry mat and feel I have paid my dues in that area. Several times throughout my laundry career I have encountered the broken down washing machine. Usually there is some type of warning that it is not functioning properly.
For the past week or so I noticed that after spinning the clothes were not completely spun out. I mentioned it to my husband and then thought it may be overloaded (working on teaching those girls how to properly load the unit). Last night I went down and threw a load in. I returned 47 minutes later (yes I have it timed) to find the lights out in the area. Went to box and flipped the circuit down. I hear a moaning noise coming from the washer, and the breaker tripped again. I tried hard not to panic when looking at the several loads left to do. I lifted the lid and found the washer 1/2 full of water. Summoned my husband as every time I would flip the breaker back it would trip.
I decided to head back upstairs and wait it out. I've learned that standing over him will just annoy him. He does his best work when not being heckled. After a few minutes I was called to the basement to assist in tipping the washer forward. He announced that there may be something stuck in the pump. Whew! We had that issue a while back as well. My work was done and I headed back upstairs. My first thoughts were "Sure, get a Christmas bonus and possibly have to by a washer". A few minutes later he came upstairs with a very torn up sock. The culprit! The washer was now running smoothly. Is this where all the socks go? Bet they're stuck around the inner rim just waiting to work their way into the small drain tube in the pump.

Had an update on the deadbeat dad last night. Seems he lost the house he was renting. Messaged my daughter to ask what size clothes the baby wore. A baby he has never set eyes on-but has seen one picture to date. He has moved in with his mother and has had the past 3 weeks off to empty out his house and has not done so yet. We wondered if he maybe spent 3 weeks in rehab. Is he going to drop off gifts signed "Love Daddy"? Bitter? Yes, just a tad, but if he is truly making an effort to straighten himself out and can stay clean for the sake of his other two children then I will give him some credit. Addiction is a horrible thing and I know we all have a vice somewhere but I think help should have been sought out sooner. Prior to the birth of the baby my daughter was concerned for his other two children and had contacted his ex to voice her concerns. She was blown off and accused of being a trouble maker. About three weeks ago the ex contacted my daughter voicing her concerns about him using and letting her know that she was not allowing the kids to visit unless he sought help. So now the scenario is-lost house-lost kids-no money and close to losing your job. Maybe rock bottom has hit. I can only hope that his next road is on the way up.

My Christmas Letter

Every year we receive several Christmas letters from distant family members and friends. About 95% of these letters are well written and personal and I enjoy reading them. There is one in particular that I don't even want to open any longer. My husband has a cousin who writes a letter beaming of all her daughters accomplishments. She never mentions the son except to say "Dewey is well". The only mention of her husband is "Chris and I are very proud of Emma (daughter). She speaks mainly of herself and her daughter. Maybe Chris and Dewey opted out?

Receiving the letters makes me wonder of what I would compose in a Christmas letter. I could come up with one mentioning the baby, our camping trips, feeling thankful for our good health and jobs..Then last night I started thinking of writing a very realistic letter reflecting on the past year:

Dear Friends and Family

Packers won the Super Bowl. Ken and Janet threw a great party. Ken got drunk and ripped his jean shirt. Arnie in Ninja form tried to tell Ken some story but Ken was intent on how to explain to his wife that he blew candle wax all over her wall.
Daughter announced her pregnancy. Baby due in September. Says all is going well in her relationship. Girls don't seem happy. I sense something is amiss. Around May
Mother in law diagnosed with ovarian and uterine cancer. Has surgery and does well. Starts Chemo and ends up in the hospital several times with blood pressure issues due to the chemo. Chemo stops-mother in law comes home after rehab for a stroke and does good for a few weeks. Family members decide she is good at home and daughter downstairs can provide care she needs. From the amount of phone calls we are receiving I say she will either be in Assisted Living soon or have in home care.
Get the call in May about daughter moving. We insist she come to our home-figured it was easier than paying her rent when deadbeat dad wouldn't come through. Once the move was made the deadbeat father refused any help until DNA testing.
Made a few camping trips this year. Missed a few due to mother in law in hospital. Watched Dylan play baseball and end up with an excellent season. Football was not so great but still fun to watch.
One of our camping trips was cut short as baby Jake decided to arrive a bit early. Birth went well. He's been a joy but can't seem to get on a schedule yet. He's got a little Thompson in him with his smile after a big poop or crying jag. Just eats at your heart.
Son has been steadily working and has been with his current girlfriend for over a year now. He seems very happy-as I write this I am looking for a piece of wood to knock on.
Arnie is still employed and has been very busy at work kissing some butt. No, seriously-he has been a huge part of the change in ownership and has been busy with moving stores, changing packaging and whatever else makes him so crabby at work.
We bought a shed to store all my daughters belongings-cheaper than paying for storage. I think there is another intent for the shed once she is out. I though about setting up house in there. Nice size-looks homey from the outside.
I am still getting up at the crack of pre-dawn for work. Sometimes my alarm wakes me up-other times I hear the beginning "I'm hungry" cries from Jake.
Deadbeat dad has still not seen his child. It appears his want for drugs has outweighed the gift of a child. Attorney working on revoking any custody rights and I'm convinced he'll sign anything not to pay child support. Guess Jake is better off with that scene for now.
Our house is crowded-trips have been made to the dump and Goodwill to purge out items no longer necessary or that there is no room for.
Mom and Dad are still doing well in Arizona. They came for a visit this summer and were able to spend time with the family. We're still trying to figure out how to convince her to move back. My father wants to be with his kids and grandchildren. Just can't quite figure her out.
Along with the daughter and two girls came Bella the dog and Lilo the cat. The two cats and two dogs seem to get along well. I sometimes feel like Dr. Doolittle in my home-especially at feeding time. I've become used to stepping over two dogs that seem to think that it is a game to seem just how much they can get in the way. Bella keeps our dog Sadie young.
We finally bought an over the range microwave and got rid of the 27 year old one. I miss it! Got a new fridge when ours blew out while camping. Got another new fridge because the first new one we got was to small.
And hell froze over! Our garage is clean! Clean enough for Arnie to park his truck in the garage. The garage door which hasn't worked in years is fixed. I have fear though-I don't know where all the junk that was in the garage went. I'm afraid to open the storage room in the basement.
As I look back I realize that even with all this chaos I feel blessed. At times it seems like everything is getting out of control but we manage to work through it.

From

The Noisey, Bursting at the seams, Crowded but mostly fun Home.

3 Years

I have been blessed with some great friends in my life. Each one of them special in their own way. To lose a friend over an argument or drift apart is one thing. To lose a friend that you have no control over ever getting back is another. A friend that you truly miss every day. One that you could talk to about anything and would always respect your views and listen rather than preach their own views to you. I miss my friend.
Sadly he was taken away from us three years ago today. There is still a lot of sadness yet I can smile when I think of something funny he said or did. He could always make me laugh just hearing his hearty chuckle. I miss the Packer games we watched together (he was my go to guy when I didn't understand a play). I miss the camping fun "I'm going to eat that little runt for breakfast". I just plain miss hanging out with him. What a fun guy he was. If his purpose in life was to make others see what a true friend is all about then I am at peace knowing he fulfilled his duty. Rest in Peace always Randy. :(

27

Seven months prior to this day 27 years ago Arnie proposed to me at the Packing House. Or I should say, attempted to propose to me. We were having a quiet dinner and I saw him reach in his suit jacket (yes he wore a suit) pocket and pull out a ring box. Then I noticed the waitress & hostess heading toward our table. He had a plan. I do not like being in a spotlight, so I very softly said "Don't do this here". He never took the ring out and we finished our dinner and left. He drove across the street to the airplane viewing area and then proposed. I felt a little bad for ruining his plan, but figured if he knew me well enough he would have realized that I am not comfortable in public displays. I'm relieved that there has never been anything plastered on a billboard, displayed on the jumbo tron at a sports event, an ad taken out in newspaper or that we've had to drive like crazy to see the banner being pulled behind an airplane. It's a great gesture to someone who is comfortable in those situations-just not for me.
At the proposal time there was no date set. Just a promise that we would marry. We ended up beginning to plan our wedding in October and pulled everything together by the end of November. When I look back I wonder what we were thinking. The week after Thanksgiving and right before Christmas? His busiest season at work.
Waking up on the morning of our wedding I felt like there were a million things we forgot to do. I never felt dread though. The morning of my first wedding I woke up feeling dread. Worried that I was doing the wrong thing. I remember I cried because I didn't want to go through with it. I felt horrible at the thought of my parents losing out of money for deposits and such. Looking back I think they probably would have been relieved.
There are several things that stick out in my head about our wedding day. He stayed at his brothers house the night before. He called me in the morning to tell me how grossed out he was as they had a portable shower in their basement. He said he had the creeps the entire time he was showering. He forgot his tie but luckily his brother had the same one. I forgot to buy nylons and had to make a trip to the store. We were married in the Courthouse on a Friday early afternoon. My sister in law had stayed with me and was to drive herself, I and our daughters there. Her car wouldn't start. Arnie had my car. Nice guy downstairs gave her a jump. My dad was working at the Police Administration at the time and came to the ceremony in his Police uniform, gun and all, and stood right behind my husband. Beside the goof up in what to do between the wedding and dinner (5 hours) the rest of the day went off without to much confusion. My cake was delivered to the wrong place, but was worked out before it was needed.
The next glitch was after the wedding when I had never made plans for what to do with my kids. Thanks Mom & Dad for thinking of that one. We got to the hotel to find out that the suite he booked was double booked. Didn't really want to share a room with another couple so we took the "free" room they offered for their error and the gift certificate for a future date.
So today marks 27 years of wedded bliss. There have been the usual ups and downs of married life, but still to this day I feel no dread and know I did the right thing. Married a man who has been a good friend, a great father and role model for the kids and has never flown a banner over our house or plastered a note of his love for me on a billboard. For that I am thankful.