I think our lives may return to some normalcy. As I type this I'm desperately looking for a piece of wood to knock on. Doris is improving each day and although not completely out of the woods yet-she has a positive attitude and a goal of returning to her own home soon. Today she will be moved to the rehab floor of the hospital verses moving to a rehab center. We met the team that will be working with her and feel at ease with them.
My concerns are for when she is released from rehab and ready to go home and then wants to start her Chemo again. She was pretty weak from her surgery when she started her first round of chemo and we all thought it was to soon. Her cardiac and primary physicians are both saying no more. This will be a tough choice for her to make given that she'll be told the blood pressure issues could do her in. There hasn't been a time frame set on how long it will be until the cancer takes her. At last CT scan a month ago the tumor had not grown. The family has talked about it and each voiced their opinions. No one wants to see her in any pain. No one wants her to suffer any further damage due to blood pressure issues. This isn't our decision to make. She currently cannot recall what lead to the incident that brought her to the hospital-nor nine days of being in ICU. I guess that in itself should raise a flag to her.
I've been waiting for the worrying Doris to show up and found out yesterday that her doctor does have her on a low dose of anti-anxiety medication. She's pretty determined to get herself up and going. A direct quote "I am sick of my self pity party."
We have one more camping trip planned. As selfish as it sounds, I would like to go. We need to go. If I have to I will get one more trip in this season. It could mean the my husband and I may be braving some cold and snow-but we will go at least once more this year.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
You Go Doris!
Went to visit Doris yesterday and saw some improvement. I walked in on her speaking to a Rehab nurse and was able to answer some questions regarding her recent experiences as she had no recollection of the events leading up to her incident. A few days back a Social Worker had asked several questions in regards to how well she could take care of herself-laundry, cooking, cleaning and personal care. She had the answer to the personal care right but I knew she was still a little foggy in answering the rest of the questions. Yesterday the answers more realistic.
It looks as if she may be able to fulfill her rehab needs right in the hospital verses going to a center. We'll have that answer today. For the most part-she's a little weak, her eyesight is not so good and she has some coordination issues. The doctor isn't sure how much of her eyesight she'll regain. (mind you she told me that she could see my pretty brown eyes. I teared up a little at that one).
She was very positive about a rehab program and went on to blame herself for her recent incident. She said she hadn't done anything for herself and felt she sat in her chair and wallowed in self pity. I explained to her that she had been through a lot in a few months and her body and mind took a beating. I saw a little bit of the woman I knew prior to all her health issues. I dreaded the question I knew she would eventually ask. "when can I start my chemo again". It came and I looked at my husband to step up and answer. "Mom, you have to get your body back to being able to handle any more chemo and then your doctor will talk to you". I felt that was about as good as an answer he could have given her. Problem is-her doctor has told us that the chances of her having any more chemo are slim to none. She's proved people wrong before so we'll see if she can do it again.
Doris is really pushing for her grandson to be born. I'm excited as well but am hoping he hangs on until the Sept. 22nd date. I really want to make the next camping trip. I think my husband and I both need a weekend of relaxation, fresh air and some time with our friends. They are the best remedy for troubled minds.
It looks as if she may be able to fulfill her rehab needs right in the hospital verses going to a center. We'll have that answer today. For the most part-she's a little weak, her eyesight is not so good and she has some coordination issues. The doctor isn't sure how much of her eyesight she'll regain. (mind you she told me that she could see my pretty brown eyes. I teared up a little at that one).
She was very positive about a rehab program and went on to blame herself for her recent incident. She said she hadn't done anything for herself and felt she sat in her chair and wallowed in self pity. I explained to her that she had been through a lot in a few months and her body and mind took a beating. I saw a little bit of the woman I knew prior to all her health issues. I dreaded the question I knew she would eventually ask. "when can I start my chemo again". It came and I looked at my husband to step up and answer. "Mom, you have to get your body back to being able to handle any more chemo and then your doctor will talk to you". I felt that was about as good as an answer he could have given her. Problem is-her doctor has told us that the chances of her having any more chemo are slim to none. She's proved people wrong before so we'll see if she can do it again.
Doris is really pushing for her grandson to be born. I'm excited as well but am hoping he hangs on until the Sept. 22nd date. I really want to make the next camping trip. I think my husband and I both need a weekend of relaxation, fresh air and some time with our friends. They are the best remedy for troubled minds.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Two Wishes
Doris was moved out of ICU Saturday night. She is out of danger as far as her blood pressure is concerned. There has been remarkable improvement over the past few days. Saturday morning she was alert and very passive. Her eyesight was blurry and her hand eye coordination was a bit shaky. She required assistance with eating.
Yesterday morning we arrived as her doctor was checking her over. There is talk of her needing oxygen at night to keep her levels up. This is something that had been discussed as she was usually tired and weak.
There was a difference in her. We saw the mom that had been missing for a while. She was happy and somewhat worry free. She inquired about her bills being paid, told me where things pertaining to bill payment was and remembered some banking that she had done a few days before her incident. She did not remember what happened to bring her to the hospital, but did remember feeling tired and weak the day or two before.
It was after a few minutes that she asked about the chemo and whether or not she would be able to finish it. The three of us in the room fell silent for a moment. "Well, at this point in time it's on hold. We're going to have to see what your doctor thinks. First of all we need to work on getting you stronger and in to rehab". She seemed content with this answer for a moment and then turned to me and said "I have two wishes. One is to see my grandson be born and the second is to visit my grand daughter's new home(just bought a 100 year old house in upstate New York)". Had to clear my throat a little and told her I would do my best to make sure both those things would happen.
She is on 3 types of blood pressure medication and her bp is good. This is the only medication she is on right now. Gone are all the other things she was taking, but also gone is the shoulder pain and wrist pain from her arthritis. Gone is the constant worrying. She asked about things with an air of confidence around her that I hadn't seen in a long time.
Here's the weird thing...When I was sitting with her in ICU she was holding my hand very tight. This was on the day they claim she had the stroke. She had woken up and was staring straight ahead and had a tight grip on my hand. She said to me "do you feel that? Someone is pulling us". I had told her I didn't feel anything. She told me not to let go of her because she didn't want to go so I stayed right there. A little bit later she relaxed her grip and fell back asleep. Yesterday she told me she had a weird dream that her and I were in a storm and being pulled out of her house and I held on to her to keep her from being sucked away. Gave me the willies for a minute. Maybe I read to many books, but I believe they weren't quite ready for her yet.
Yesterday morning we arrived as her doctor was checking her over. There is talk of her needing oxygen at night to keep her levels up. This is something that had been discussed as she was usually tired and weak.
There was a difference in her. We saw the mom that had been missing for a while. She was happy and somewhat worry free. She inquired about her bills being paid, told me where things pertaining to bill payment was and remembered some banking that she had done a few days before her incident. She did not remember what happened to bring her to the hospital, but did remember feeling tired and weak the day or two before.
It was after a few minutes that she asked about the chemo and whether or not she would be able to finish it. The three of us in the room fell silent for a moment. "Well, at this point in time it's on hold. We're going to have to see what your doctor thinks. First of all we need to work on getting you stronger and in to rehab". She seemed content with this answer for a moment and then turned to me and said "I have two wishes. One is to see my grandson be born and the second is to visit my grand daughter's new home(just bought a 100 year old house in upstate New York)". Had to clear my throat a little and told her I would do my best to make sure both those things would happen.
She is on 3 types of blood pressure medication and her bp is good. This is the only medication she is on right now. Gone are all the other things she was taking, but also gone is the shoulder pain and wrist pain from her arthritis. Gone is the constant worrying. She asked about things with an air of confidence around her that I hadn't seen in a long time.
Here's the weird thing...When I was sitting with her in ICU she was holding my hand very tight. This was on the day they claim she had the stroke. She had woken up and was staring straight ahead and had a tight grip on my hand. She said to me "do you feel that? Someone is pulling us". I had told her I didn't feel anything. She told me not to let go of her because she didn't want to go so I stayed right there. A little bit later she relaxed her grip and fell back asleep. Yesterday she told me she had a weird dream that her and I were in a storm and being pulled out of her house and I held on to her to keep her from being sucked away. Gave me the willies for a minute. Maybe I read to many books, but I believe they weren't quite ready for her yet.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Bad Turn
Things with Doris took a turn yesterday. It's been confirmed that she suffered a stroke on Tuesday with not so good results. Two of her doctors are working closely to get her blood pressure under control. Main issue is not having her kidneys shut down. Her tired body seems to want to reject any medication to lower her blood pressure. It will stabilize for a bit and slowly creep back up. The neurologist ordered an additional test which could show some reasoning. He's looking for possible bleeding on the brain. We won't have results from this test until later today. He wants to move her to the NICU unit but she has to be out of the clear for any kidney and blood pressure issues first.
The news was broke yesterday that when she recovers she will be in rehab for quite a while depending on what she may regain after the swelling on her brain goes down. At first the swelling was being attributed to her chemo. Not so much any more as the chemo should be out of her body now. They see no further chemo in the future. Her cancer was at stage 3 prior to her surgery. Their is still a tumor in her aorta lymph nodes which was to risky to remove. After her first round of chemo it had shrunk very little. She was scheduled for two more treatments. As of right now we do not know the status of the cancer. The highest prioity is getting things under control.
Little bit of breakdown of some of the family last night. Quite understandable for what is going on. Stress and worry will do that to you. This came after the doctor's request for a copy of her living will. I have faith and have said plenty of prayers. The later of them being to get her out of pain-whatever it takes. She's just so tired.
The news was broke yesterday that when she recovers she will be in rehab for quite a while depending on what she may regain after the swelling on her brain goes down. At first the swelling was being attributed to her chemo. Not so much any more as the chemo should be out of her body now. They see no further chemo in the future. Her cancer was at stage 3 prior to her surgery. Their is still a tumor in her aorta lymph nodes which was to risky to remove. After her first round of chemo it had shrunk very little. She was scheduled for two more treatments. As of right now we do not know the status of the cancer. The highest prioity is getting things under control.
Little bit of breakdown of some of the family last night. Quite understandable for what is going on. Stress and worry will do that to you. This came after the doctor's request for a copy of her living will. I have faith and have said plenty of prayers. The later of them being to get her out of pain-whatever it takes. She's just so tired.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Frustrated
It was back to work yesterday with a stop at the hospital afterwards. Doris had been showing some improvement, but yesterday was a little discouraging. She woke up good and had her gathers together. The longer she was awake the foggier she got. I got there just as she woke from a nap. She knew me and we chatted about simple things. Within moments she was off somewhere else. The blood pressure is still bouncing around and she's on small doses of anti-anxiety medication to keep her calm. We've been told that with a spike in the blood pressure it can take days to level out and who knows how long to return to a semi normal state.
For the most part there has been excellent communication between family members that are there. Emails and text messages are abundant. Older sister Sue is at the hospital during the day and the rest of us file in after 3. Tempers were remaining at bay until yesterday.
There seems to be an issue with brother Mike. First off it took him a day and a half to show up after numerous calls to him. No excuse-he's off work for the next 6 weeks for a shut down. Claims we didn't explain the seriousness of the incident. I don't know what spell out serious more than "We're losing Mom". After his initial visit he committed to staying with her during the evening hours. He's failed miserably at helping out. He's come to taking command during the few hours he's appeared and has suddenly become an expert in brain injuries. For the sake of my mother in law I grit my teeth and smile a lot when in the room. I thought it was just me until we got outside and my usually meek husband gave him a piece of his mind. Mike is leaving town for a race and will be gone for the next week. I'm not saying we should park ourselves there and I realize one must continue their normal life to prevent an overload however-having a doctor say "She's by no means out of the woods" may make me stick close to home. We made the decision to opt out of camping this weekend. There will always be another opportunity for camping.
As he was telling us about his trip he turned to his daughter who has been at her Grandmothers side as much as she can and asked if she wanted to come along to Tennessee for the race. I saw daggers as she said "No Dad, and I don't think you should be leaving right now either". He feels the rest of the family has it under control. What he doesn't see is his sister is tired and could use a break. He sees himself, which is what he has always done.
My question for the day is-why would you give a person who barely has motor skills spaghetti? I must say I was impressed at Doris's ability to balance a noodle on her fork even if she couldn't get it to her mouth.
For the most part there has been excellent communication between family members that are there. Emails and text messages are abundant. Older sister Sue is at the hospital during the day and the rest of us file in after 3. Tempers were remaining at bay until yesterday.
There seems to be an issue with brother Mike. First off it took him a day and a half to show up after numerous calls to him. No excuse-he's off work for the next 6 weeks for a shut down. Claims we didn't explain the seriousness of the incident. I don't know what spell out serious more than "We're losing Mom". After his initial visit he committed to staying with her during the evening hours. He's failed miserably at helping out. He's come to taking command during the few hours he's appeared and has suddenly become an expert in brain injuries. For the sake of my mother in law I grit my teeth and smile a lot when in the room. I thought it was just me until we got outside and my usually meek husband gave him a piece of his mind. Mike is leaving town for a race and will be gone for the next week. I'm not saying we should park ourselves there and I realize one must continue their normal life to prevent an overload however-having a doctor say "She's by no means out of the woods" may make me stick close to home. We made the decision to opt out of camping this weekend. There will always be another opportunity for camping.
As he was telling us about his trip he turned to his daughter who has been at her Grandmothers side as much as she can and asked if she wanted to come along to Tennessee for the race. I saw daggers as she said "No Dad, and I don't think you should be leaving right now either". He feels the rest of the family has it under control. What he doesn't see is his sister is tired and could use a break. He sees himself, which is what he has always done.
My question for the day is-why would you give a person who barely has motor skills spaghetti? I must say I was impressed at Doris's ability to balance a noodle on her fork even if she couldn't get it to her mouth.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
3 Years
Today marks 3 years since my brother David passed away. My reminders of this started last Thursday. My mother in law Doris was once again admitted to the hospital. Upon leaving the emergency department she was transferred to the same floor my brother was on. At least she's at the other end of the hallway.
When I was taking the elevator up the other day I heard the "code 4" announcement that I'd heard 3 years ago when I got the call about my brother coding.
So more so because of being emotionally stressed over Doris,trying to be strong for my husband, being tired, and being flooded with memories I had a little private cry.
I still get sad over the events of his death. I still wonder if more could have been done. I'm at peace with them doing all they could do to safe him and am at peace with the decision to have them stop after 15 minutes, just wonder if prior to those events if anything more could have been done.
I think more now of his laughter and constant antics. My brother loved to write-couldn't spell worth a damn, but wrote some funny and interesting life stories.
Many times I still want to pick up the phone and tell him something.
There's a new baby coming into the family and I know "Uncle David" would have been one of the first to see and hold the new addition. I miss sharing things with him.
At some point in time I know I'll be content with the memories, but for now I'm still a little sad about losing a brother to soon, and his daughters losing a great father. Their ability to achieve the things they are would make him proud.
We almost lost Doris the other day. As I stood among the family and heard the news I could see the reality of this hitting them. They were raised to respect their mother and when their father passed at a young age they began to make sure she was taken care of. She opted for the surgery and chemo to treat her cancer. We supported her and many of us kicked it up a notch to help her out. Her first two chemo treatments went good. After the 3rd treatment she ended up in the hospital for a week. One of the chemo drugs caused some brain swelling. She went back in twice after that, but for short stays. This current one was serious and attributed to her blood pressure spiking. She's naturally a worry wart so keeping it under control is critical. After three days of being unresponsive she woke in a panic. Two days later they still haven't been able to find the magic formula for the blood pressure. She's responsive and alert but once she starts thinking about the hospital and her bills-she's off again. People started going back to work yesterday after knowing she was somewhat out of danger. My thoughts are this is going to be awhile. The bad news is her doctor told us that she has to make a choice between the chemo or her blood pressure. Originally the plan was to shrink down the tumor they could not remove, until it was small enough, and then do the surgery. Doc says no to that now-she won't make it through the surgery. This news hasn't been broken to her yet, and I know she won't be strong enough for that for a while. She's a fighter usually, but she's just so damn tired.
When I was taking the elevator up the other day I heard the "code 4" announcement that I'd heard 3 years ago when I got the call about my brother coding.
So more so because of being emotionally stressed over Doris,trying to be strong for my husband, being tired, and being flooded with memories I had a little private cry.
I still get sad over the events of his death. I still wonder if more could have been done. I'm at peace with them doing all they could do to safe him and am at peace with the decision to have them stop after 15 minutes, just wonder if prior to those events if anything more could have been done.
I think more now of his laughter and constant antics. My brother loved to write-couldn't spell worth a damn, but wrote some funny and interesting life stories.
Many times I still want to pick up the phone and tell him something.
There's a new baby coming into the family and I know "Uncle David" would have been one of the first to see and hold the new addition. I miss sharing things with him.
At some point in time I know I'll be content with the memories, but for now I'm still a little sad about losing a brother to soon, and his daughters losing a great father. Their ability to achieve the things they are would make him proud.
We almost lost Doris the other day. As I stood among the family and heard the news I could see the reality of this hitting them. They were raised to respect their mother and when their father passed at a young age they began to make sure she was taken care of. She opted for the surgery and chemo to treat her cancer. We supported her and many of us kicked it up a notch to help her out. Her first two chemo treatments went good. After the 3rd treatment she ended up in the hospital for a week. One of the chemo drugs caused some brain swelling. She went back in twice after that, but for short stays. This current one was serious and attributed to her blood pressure spiking. She's naturally a worry wart so keeping it under control is critical. After three days of being unresponsive she woke in a panic. Two days later they still haven't been able to find the magic formula for the blood pressure. She's responsive and alert but once she starts thinking about the hospital and her bills-she's off again. People started going back to work yesterday after knowing she was somewhat out of danger. My thoughts are this is going to be awhile. The bad news is her doctor told us that she has to make a choice between the chemo or her blood pressure. Originally the plan was to shrink down the tumor they could not remove, until it was small enough, and then do the surgery. Doc says no to that now-she won't make it through the surgery. This news hasn't been broken to her yet, and I know she won't be strong enough for that for a while. She's a fighter usually, but she's just so damn tired.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Loser X 10
Despite all the recent hassles we were able to make it to State Fair twice this year. The first time was a hotter than hell Sunday and we took the three grand kids. Spent the majority of our time at the Mid-way and then wandering around through a record crowd day to find something to eat. Of course no one wanted the same thing to eat. I found my husband to be the most annoying one. He walks the Fair like he shops. From one end to the other and doesn't listen when his lovely wife looks on a map and gives him directions. After being there for about 5 hours I took a look at three wilted kids and a crabby husband and decided to call it a day. They all took naps when they got home.
The second time was this past Sunday. The last day of the fair and my company picnic as well. The company function is held in the white tent area at the edge of the fair. I go mainly to see if I can continue my losing record at door prizes. There aren't many people from my department that go and most people just come for the lunch and door prizes.
We went fairly early as it was a great day weather wise. Did some walking around and my husband sampled a few food items. The company lunch was catered by Saz's and very much a disappointment to many. In the past we've had the shredded pork however this year it was missing from the menu. In it's place were some very dry grilled pork chops. Not much of a selection of food-but one can't complain much about eating free.
Door prize time came and went and I continued on my losing streak. It's so bad that I came within 3 pretzels of "guess the pretzels in the container". But wait, I had one more chance to win something. There was a scavenger hunt. 18 questions regarding the Fair. Most of the answers could be found in the information brochure. The remainder required walking around to get the answers. I was pretty sure I had them all. When they announced the winner yesterday they said 4 people got all the answers correct and they had to "pick from the hat". Well once again the loser holds her standing. We're still waiting for them to publish the answers.
The second time was this past Sunday. The last day of the fair and my company picnic as well. The company function is held in the white tent area at the edge of the fair. I go mainly to see if I can continue my losing record at door prizes. There aren't many people from my department that go and most people just come for the lunch and door prizes.
We went fairly early as it was a great day weather wise. Did some walking around and my husband sampled a few food items. The company lunch was catered by Saz's and very much a disappointment to many. In the past we've had the shredded pork however this year it was missing from the menu. In it's place were some very dry grilled pork chops. Not much of a selection of food-but one can't complain much about eating free.
Door prize time came and went and I continued on my losing streak. It's so bad that I came within 3 pretzels of "guess the pretzels in the container". But wait, I had one more chance to win something. There was a scavenger hunt. 18 questions regarding the Fair. Most of the answers could be found in the information brochure. The remainder required walking around to get the answers. I was pretty sure I had them all. When they announced the winner yesterday they said 4 people got all the answers correct and they had to "pick from the hat". Well once again the loser holds her standing. We're still waiting for them to publish the answers.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Get Me My Arby's
I had a few moments of quiet last night and some time to reflect on the past few months. I wondered where my summer went. There have been a few camping trips-not as many as in the past, one festival, a total miss of Summerfest and one or two barbeque's. The majority of my time has been spent moving my daughter and girls back in, getting ready for a baby , over at my mother in laws house or visiting her in the hospital.
Doris has had a rough time. It doesn't help that she's a naturally pessimistic person. If I had a nickle for every time I've heard "that's not going to work" over the past few months I wouldn't need to work. She's been handling her chemo treatments well, but will suffer from every side effect there is. I've become way to familiar with two major hospitals in the area and also with her doctors.
The care of Doris was supposed to be divided between all the family members. Downstairs Debbie takes the brunt of it with living in the same household. DD's kids are lazy to say the least. I can't even say kids as two of them are in their early 20's. Getting either of them to mow the lawn is a joke. The third one lives upstairs with Doris and does brighten her day but is lazy as well.
My main task seems to be cleaning her house and helping her figure out her bills. My frustration is all the people who come to "visit" her and can't as much as take out her garbage or straighten up a little. I do feel she could do more for herself such as the little tasks of cleaning the bathroom, dusting or doing dishes. For a while I was stopping every day and taking care of these things. I skipped a few days thinking she'd do for herself. I have a different sense of clean, so when I asked DD if things were cleaned up she assured me all was well. I stopped there to find dishes piled up in the sink, the bathroom a wreck and things that were dropped on the floor that Doris can't pick up.
Doris has become very demanding. She's always grateful, but her approach sometimes lacks politeness. On my way home yesterday I received a frantic call from DD asking if I was stopping over. Dd had been out running errands yesterday and upon returning home Doris wanted to know where her Arby's was. DD was puzzled as she did not recall Doris requesting this. I've seen and heard Doris in her demanding mode but through the phone yesterday I heard "Dammit Debbie, where is my Arby's" in a tone I've never heard before. Guess who made the special trip to Arby's and stocked her up on roast beef sandwiches for a day or so? I was her hero for at least an hour or so.
On a different subject, the baby will be delivered September 22nd and things are moving along pretty smoothly in preparing things. My house seems to be getting smaller every day. She's doing pretty well considering all the back issues she had. The waddle is prominent now and she's grateful for the break in the heatwave. We just hope that the ultrasound is correct or the girl could be wearing all little boy clothes.
Doris has had a rough time. It doesn't help that she's a naturally pessimistic person. If I had a nickle for every time I've heard "that's not going to work" over the past few months I wouldn't need to work. She's been handling her chemo treatments well, but will suffer from every side effect there is. I've become way to familiar with two major hospitals in the area and also with her doctors.
The care of Doris was supposed to be divided between all the family members. Downstairs Debbie takes the brunt of it with living in the same household. DD's kids are lazy to say the least. I can't even say kids as two of them are in their early 20's. Getting either of them to mow the lawn is a joke. The third one lives upstairs with Doris and does brighten her day but is lazy as well.
My main task seems to be cleaning her house and helping her figure out her bills. My frustration is all the people who come to "visit" her and can't as much as take out her garbage or straighten up a little. I do feel she could do more for herself such as the little tasks of cleaning the bathroom, dusting or doing dishes. For a while I was stopping every day and taking care of these things. I skipped a few days thinking she'd do for herself. I have a different sense of clean, so when I asked DD if things were cleaned up she assured me all was well. I stopped there to find dishes piled up in the sink, the bathroom a wreck and things that were dropped on the floor that Doris can't pick up.
Doris has become very demanding. She's always grateful, but her approach sometimes lacks politeness. On my way home yesterday I received a frantic call from DD asking if I was stopping over. Dd had been out running errands yesterday and upon returning home Doris wanted to know where her Arby's was. DD was puzzled as she did not recall Doris requesting this. I've seen and heard Doris in her demanding mode but through the phone yesterday I heard "Dammit Debbie, where is my Arby's" in a tone I've never heard before. Guess who made the special trip to Arby's and stocked her up on roast beef sandwiches for a day or so? I was her hero for at least an hour or so.
On a different subject, the baby will be delivered September 22nd and things are moving along pretty smoothly in preparing things. My house seems to be getting smaller every day. She's doing pretty well considering all the back issues she had. The waddle is prominent now and she's grateful for the break in the heatwave. We just hope that the ultrasound is correct or the girl could be wearing all little boy clothes.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Nightmare
My dream last night could have been prompted by the phone call I received from my younger brother earlier in the evening. About a month ago he came home to find out his house had been broken in to. They took his PlayStation, computer and some cash he had. I had warned him to wait a bit before replacing these items as sometimes they strike again. He replaced both about a week ago and yesterday his house was broken in to again. Of course none of the neighbors noticed anything. He's a bit creeped out now, knowing that someone is watching him. It may be time for a move toward a better area.
I woke up about 2 am in a cold sweat and my heart was racing. The dream was so vivid and seemed so real that I was a bit nervous to go back to sleep. But then I thought maybe I could go back to sleep and make my own ending.
In my dream I had gone to the bank and cashed a check for $3700.00. I had paid a few bills and bought some groceries on the way home. Later that night we were sitting in the living room watching TV and our door was kicked in. These two huge AA men and a woman burst in to the living room with machine guns pointing at us. The guy demanded the $3700.00. We were all pretty calm and I told him that I didn't have any money like that in my house. He claimed he saw me cash the check and come home. My husband accused me of not paying the bills and started looking for the money. I showed receipts to him and the robber. The robber & his side kicks then sat down and watched the end of the TV show with us. Upon leaving he told me they'd be back in a few days and I'd best have the money.
I called the robbers wife and she came over for a visit. I explained that I didn't have that kind of money and she needed to have him leave us alone. She claimed she'd try. What seemed to be a few days later they both appeared with a basket of food and an apology. It seems he'd gone straight. We were all sitting around talking when we heard a loud car and he screamed for everyone to drop to the floor. I grabbed a baby (I assume it was by daughters) and ran to the hallway. Our house was immediately littered with bullets. I heard my dog yelp and handed off the baby to go get her. I I was dragging her to the hallway and saw the wife of the former robber sobbing over her husband who was down. I peeked out the window and saw an orange and black hopped up car with guns pointed at the house. I picked up the phone to call for help and the phone line was dead. I woke up wondering why my neighbors weren't hearing or seeing any of this. I realized that going back to sleep and hoping for a better ending didn't always pan out. This stupid dream is so stuck in my head.
I woke up about 2 am in a cold sweat and my heart was racing. The dream was so vivid and seemed so real that I was a bit nervous to go back to sleep. But then I thought maybe I could go back to sleep and make my own ending.
In my dream I had gone to the bank and cashed a check for $3700.00. I had paid a few bills and bought some groceries on the way home. Later that night we were sitting in the living room watching TV and our door was kicked in. These two huge AA men and a woman burst in to the living room with machine guns pointing at us. The guy demanded the $3700.00. We were all pretty calm and I told him that I didn't have any money like that in my house. He claimed he saw me cash the check and come home. My husband accused me of not paying the bills and started looking for the money. I showed receipts to him and the robber. The robber & his side kicks then sat down and watched the end of the TV show with us. Upon leaving he told me they'd be back in a few days and I'd best have the money.
I called the robbers wife and she came over for a visit. I explained that I didn't have that kind of money and she needed to have him leave us alone. She claimed she'd try. What seemed to be a few days later they both appeared with a basket of food and an apology. It seems he'd gone straight. We were all sitting around talking when we heard a loud car and he screamed for everyone to drop to the floor. I grabbed a baby (I assume it was by daughters) and ran to the hallway. Our house was immediately littered with bullets. I heard my dog yelp and handed off the baby to go get her. I I was dragging her to the hallway and saw the wife of the former robber sobbing over her husband who was down. I peeked out the window and saw an orange and black hopped up car with guns pointed at the house. I picked up the phone to call for help and the phone line was dead. I woke up wondering why my neighbors weren't hearing or seeing any of this. I realized that going back to sleep and hoping for a better ending didn't always pan out. This stupid dream is so stuck in my head.
Monday, June 13, 2011
She's Back
As parent's we're supposed to give our children advice and hope that some of it sinks in. I mean, we all listened as children right? I listened but usually not until it was to late.
Back in late October when I said "Don't move out with this guy yet" it fell on deaf ears. It was to soon and I also felt that it wasn't fair to her kids. But he had a house and all this room and he had his two kids and they were going to be one happy family. Three months later all seemed well and she also announced that she was pregnant. Foolishly I thought that things would be good. The pregnancy wasn't planned and we can all think about how it wasn't very smart, but what's done is done and it'll be dealt with. Outwardly they seemed like a big happy family.
Then I began to see some odd things. She was the one picking his kids up from school and mentioned a few times that he kept changing around his schedule to work later at night. She'd ask him to run for something from the store and he'd be gone for 2 hours. He didn't concern himself with his kids schoolwork or discipline them.
Prior to my daughter getting pregnant she had had several back surgeries and had been weaning herself off pain medication. He was all for it at first, but she would still have some days where the pain was bad. She had no intention of taking or doing anything that would be harmful to the baby. She had been pregnant twice before and lost both early on, and wasn't taking any risks. He was constantly pushing her to have her prescriptions filled and mentioned that they could wean the baby off the meds when it was born. This sickened her (and me when she told me).
Well little to know it was then discovered that he had a pill popping habit and if she could get her prescriptions filled it would be cheaper on him. She was done with him at that point.
That is when we got the call. At first she was looking in to renting an apartment. After some discussion my husband and I felt she should come back home until after the baby was born. Save some money-get her self together-find a job and then go. She has a pattern of doing things in haste but I don't see her going back. He's not really made any effort to try and hold the relationship together. Just mentioned that he hopes she doesn't rake him over the coals for child support. I guess we don't have to worry to much about him wanting any custody as since she left he has only seen his kids once, and hasn't yet told them she was gone.
So the past several days have been spent cleaning out rooms to make room for them. Nine bags of stuff went to Goodwill and the attic is once again over flowing. I joked that she must come back every time we accumulate to much which helps us in ridding ourselves of junk. Similar to a spring and fall cleaning.
So we had a little chat yesterday about her getting her life together. I took into consideration her three back surgeries, her divorce and her recent happenings. I mentioned that she had a choice to sit around and wallow in self pity or do something about it. What's done is done so get up and go from there.
My husband tried to be funny in quoting from a television commercial "Don't leave us with the babies". This would be my nightmare. I do give her more credit that that.
Back in late October when I said "Don't move out with this guy yet" it fell on deaf ears. It was to soon and I also felt that it wasn't fair to her kids. But he had a house and all this room and he had his two kids and they were going to be one happy family. Three months later all seemed well and she also announced that she was pregnant. Foolishly I thought that things would be good. The pregnancy wasn't planned and we can all think about how it wasn't very smart, but what's done is done and it'll be dealt with. Outwardly they seemed like a big happy family.
Then I began to see some odd things. She was the one picking his kids up from school and mentioned a few times that he kept changing around his schedule to work later at night. She'd ask him to run for something from the store and he'd be gone for 2 hours. He didn't concern himself with his kids schoolwork or discipline them.
Prior to my daughter getting pregnant she had had several back surgeries and had been weaning herself off pain medication. He was all for it at first, but she would still have some days where the pain was bad. She had no intention of taking or doing anything that would be harmful to the baby. She had been pregnant twice before and lost both early on, and wasn't taking any risks. He was constantly pushing her to have her prescriptions filled and mentioned that they could wean the baby off the meds when it was born. This sickened her (and me when she told me).
Well little to know it was then discovered that he had a pill popping habit and if she could get her prescriptions filled it would be cheaper on him. She was done with him at that point.
That is when we got the call. At first she was looking in to renting an apartment. After some discussion my husband and I felt she should come back home until after the baby was born. Save some money-get her self together-find a job and then go. She has a pattern of doing things in haste but I don't see her going back. He's not really made any effort to try and hold the relationship together. Just mentioned that he hopes she doesn't rake him over the coals for child support. I guess we don't have to worry to much about him wanting any custody as since she left he has only seen his kids once, and hasn't yet told them she was gone.
So the past several days have been spent cleaning out rooms to make room for them. Nine bags of stuff went to Goodwill and the attic is once again over flowing. I joked that she must come back every time we accumulate to much which helps us in ridding ourselves of junk. Similar to a spring and fall cleaning.
So we had a little chat yesterday about her getting her life together. I took into consideration her three back surgeries, her divorce and her recent happenings. I mentioned that she had a choice to sit around and wallow in self pity or do something about it. What's done is done so get up and go from there.
My husband tried to be funny in quoting from a television commercial "Don't leave us with the babies". This would be my nightmare. I do give her more credit that that.
Monday, May 23, 2011
We're Still Here
The world was supposed to begin to end on Saturday. I've been hearing little bits and pieces of this rumor for a few weeks and didn't really pay much attention to it. I received a call on Thursday night from one of my sister-in-law reminding me that she loved me and cared about me and she would see me in heaven. She was dead serious. After talking to her for a while I got the feeling she was hoping this would happen. There have been some medical issues with her husband which have caused some financial hardships, but something always works out for them in the end.
I've never wished death. I'll admit I'm a little afraid of it. I also know I shouldn't be. My fear is leaving the family and friends that I love. I've had some hurdles in my life that I've overcome and am now able to be proud. There were some times when I thought I'd never get through them but I was told by my father that you can either stand up tall and fight through it or wallow in self pity and be a quitter. These are the words of wisdom a parent should pass on to their children.
My daughter went through some similar hurdles and is now on the road to bettering her life. I'm proud of her. She found the inner strength and little by little began to regain control of her life. We were at my grandson's baseball game the other night and one of her daughters was having 13 year old drama. She was upset over one of her best friends talking behind her back. My daughter doesn't much care for this so called friend and made the comment "Well then I guess she's not your best friend ,is she". Those words were used before. By me, by my mother and I'm sure by my grandmother. She went on to tell her to keep her chin up and give it time. (another bit of advice passed down).
As a parent you often think that what you try to teach your children goes in one ear and out the other (with nothing in between to stop it). You find yourself stealing quotes from your own parents and then hear your children using them. So as we all know, there is something in there that stops it. And stores it for a later date.
For sure I know it's getting passed on as my daughters 4 year old soon to be step-son stuck his tongue out at his sister and a mix of voices sitting in our area said "Don't stick your tongue out or it'll turn black".
I've never wished death. I'll admit I'm a little afraid of it. I also know I shouldn't be. My fear is leaving the family and friends that I love. I've had some hurdles in my life that I've overcome and am now able to be proud. There were some times when I thought I'd never get through them but I was told by my father that you can either stand up tall and fight through it or wallow in self pity and be a quitter. These are the words of wisdom a parent should pass on to their children.
My daughter went through some similar hurdles and is now on the road to bettering her life. I'm proud of her. She found the inner strength and little by little began to regain control of her life. We were at my grandson's baseball game the other night and one of her daughters was having 13 year old drama. She was upset over one of her best friends talking behind her back. My daughter doesn't much care for this so called friend and made the comment "Well then I guess she's not your best friend ,is she". Those words were used before. By me, by my mother and I'm sure by my grandmother. She went on to tell her to keep her chin up and give it time. (another bit of advice passed down).
As a parent you often think that what you try to teach your children goes in one ear and out the other (with nothing in between to stop it). You find yourself stealing quotes from your own parents and then hear your children using them. So as we all know, there is something in there that stops it. And stores it for a later date.
For sure I know it's getting passed on as my daughters 4 year old soon to be step-son stuck his tongue out at his sister and a mix of voices sitting in our area said "Don't stick your tongue out or it'll turn black".
Monday, May 02, 2011
A Peek at Summer
We had a little get together and P & K's home Saturday evening. As I sat outside with the rest of my friends the smell of the firewood burning began to remind me that summer and camping are right around the corner. We spoke about camping for a few minutes but as I looked around I could see my fellow campers in deep thought.
I myself was thinking about where the heck the boys put all the stuff when they cleaned out the camper in the fall. Then I thought about how much I love sleeping in the fresh air. I sleep well when camping. Not for long lenghts of time, but for what I do get it's good sleep. J brought up the best thing of all-there is nothing better than waking up early in the morning and giving the fire a good stoke before heading for the bathroom. Upon returning there may be another person or two up and you sit down in the lawn chair and enjoy the early morning. No words have to be spoken. It's just a great feeling to sit, watch and listen to the morning.
I know running through my husbands head was-where the hell did I put all the camping stuff that she told me to organize. I'm pretty sure Ken was going to go home and pack the canopy so as not to forget it at all. E was probably wondering just how much spam is acceptable to bring for one weekend. Richard was deep in thought about the damn racoons that stole his fancy pork rinds. Connie was thinking about which romance novels she could read out loud to us. J was wondering what new games we could play around the fire as well as finding the latest camping gadget. And Stb..well he was going through recipes for Snickerdoodles.
I myself was thinking about where the heck the boys put all the stuff when they cleaned out the camper in the fall. Then I thought about how much I love sleeping in the fresh air. I sleep well when camping. Not for long lenghts of time, but for what I do get it's good sleep. J brought up the best thing of all-there is nothing better than waking up early in the morning and giving the fire a good stoke before heading for the bathroom. Upon returning there may be another person or two up and you sit down in the lawn chair and enjoy the early morning. No words have to be spoken. It's just a great feeling to sit, watch and listen to the morning.
I know running through my husbands head was-where the hell did I put all the camping stuff that she told me to organize. I'm pretty sure Ken was going to go home and pack the canopy so as not to forget it at all. E was probably wondering just how much spam is acceptable to bring for one weekend. Richard was deep in thought about the damn racoons that stole his fancy pork rinds. Connie was thinking about which romance novels she could read out loud to us. J was wondering what new games we could play around the fire as well as finding the latest camping gadget. And Stb..well he was going through recipes for Snickerdoodles.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Dreaded Phone Calls
I dread the middle of the night phone calls. Every once in a while our phone will ring after midnight and it will be a wrong number. For a while we turned off the phone in our bedroom but it's since been turned back on.
At 1:30 this morning the phone rang. Seeing as it's on my husbands side of the bed he groaned and then reached over to answer it. I'm all about answering the phone in a somewhat pleasant voice. His "what" came out pretty rude. It was downstairs Debbie telling him that Mom needed to go to the ER. It seems that there is some infection in her incision. He told her he'd be right there,laid back down and sighed. He hates hospitals. I got up thinking I'd be the one going and was told to go back to bed as I had done enough already with taking care of her. Off he went.
I've gotten one update so far. They took her for a CT scan-she's on an IV and she's sleeping. In fact he mentioned that downstairs Debbie is also sleeping and he's watching the CNN news that one of our friends is so fond of.
Downstairs Debbie is going to need a vacation after Mom is recovered. She's not in the best health herself and has been running ragged with taking care of her. (since the other sister checked out).
So four hours later they still sit in the ER waiting for the next step. In my opinion they should admit her to clear this up. Some things just can't be taken care of at home. Seeing as she sees fit to self medicate herself-at least in the hospital she can be given what she needs when she needs it. I was there yesterday for a few hours and didn't notice anything that would cause concern. She was walking around pretty good and in a good mood. Didn't complain of any pain or discomfort. Hopefully this is just a minor set back.
At 1:30 this morning the phone rang. Seeing as it's on my husbands side of the bed he groaned and then reached over to answer it. I'm all about answering the phone in a somewhat pleasant voice. His "what" came out pretty rude. It was downstairs Debbie telling him that Mom needed to go to the ER. It seems that there is some infection in her incision. He told her he'd be right there,laid back down and sighed. He hates hospitals. I got up thinking I'd be the one going and was told to go back to bed as I had done enough already with taking care of her. Off he went.
I've gotten one update so far. They took her for a CT scan-she's on an IV and she's sleeping. In fact he mentioned that downstairs Debbie is also sleeping and he's watching the CNN news that one of our friends is so fond of.
Downstairs Debbie is going to need a vacation after Mom is recovered. She's not in the best health herself and has been running ragged with taking care of her. (since the other sister checked out).
So four hours later they still sit in the ER waiting for the next step. In my opinion they should admit her to clear this up. Some things just can't be taken care of at home. Seeing as she sees fit to self medicate herself-at least in the hospital she can be given what she needs when she needs it. I was there yesterday for a few hours and didn't notice anything that would cause concern. She was walking around pretty good and in a good mood. Didn't complain of any pain or discomfort. Hopefully this is just a minor set back.
Monday, April 25, 2011
First Game of the Season
Two of my friends surprised me with tickets to a Brewer game Saturday. It was my first game of the season, good seats to bat and fairly decent weather.
I tend to be a fairly serious baseball game watcher. Let me clarify by saying-if a good amount of money is paid for a decent seat I'm going to be paying attention to the game. I am also going to be considerate of those around me. I'm not so serious that I won't joke around or laugh-but I'm not going to be loud or call attention to myself. I will try very hard to keep whatever liquid I am drinking in my cup and not on the lap or back of those around me. I'll not use hood of the person in front of me (unless I know them) for peanut shell disposal, or to wipe my hands. I'll try to limit the times I disrupt others by getting out of my seat. I will multi-task my using the bathroom and bringing back refreshments in the same trip. At most important of all-I will not argue with my significant other while seated.
We had the last three seats on the aisle. You always know you're in trouble then. You will be getting up for anyone who needs to get out of their seat. I don't mind a few times but there were two girls who must have been the runners that were up at least ten times through the game. Sometimes coming back with beers and then leaving five minutes later to use the bathroom. Then we had a soap opera going on in front of us. Two couples came in together and one girl spent the entire game hanging on the guy and trying to engage him in public making out. A room may have been in order. The other couple got up around the 4th inning and he came back alone a little while later. There was apparently a fight. The texting between them began. My friend was viewing the texts over his shoulder and relaying the content to those around us. This continued through out the remainder of the game. She came back at one point and left moments later announcing that she didn't like how she was being treated. He seemed confused and then was content to sit and chew his fingernails and beer cup until the end of the game. About one inning provided amusement by the guy next to my friend with the peanut shell residue hanging from his chin. And then the spilling of the beer when he was leaning forward to read the text message from the soap opera guy.
For the most part I was impressed with the new scoreboard, but found myself looking at it when I should have been watching the game. Unfortunately I attended a game they lost. Lost due to their own errors. Count of the young girls puking on the curb on our way out-4. Always a pleasure to see them.
I tend to be a fairly serious baseball game watcher. Let me clarify by saying-if a good amount of money is paid for a decent seat I'm going to be paying attention to the game. I am also going to be considerate of those around me. I'm not so serious that I won't joke around or laugh-but I'm not going to be loud or call attention to myself. I will try very hard to keep whatever liquid I am drinking in my cup and not on the lap or back of those around me. I'll not use hood of the person in front of me (unless I know them) for peanut shell disposal, or to wipe my hands. I'll try to limit the times I disrupt others by getting out of my seat. I will multi-task my using the bathroom and bringing back refreshments in the same trip. At most important of all-I will not argue with my significant other while seated.
We had the last three seats on the aisle. You always know you're in trouble then. You will be getting up for anyone who needs to get out of their seat. I don't mind a few times but there were two girls who must have been the runners that were up at least ten times through the game. Sometimes coming back with beers and then leaving five minutes later to use the bathroom. Then we had a soap opera going on in front of us. Two couples came in together and one girl spent the entire game hanging on the guy and trying to engage him in public making out. A room may have been in order. The other couple got up around the 4th inning and he came back alone a little while later. There was apparently a fight. The texting between them began. My friend was viewing the texts over his shoulder and relaying the content to those around us. This continued through out the remainder of the game. She came back at one point and left moments later announcing that she didn't like how she was being treated. He seemed confused and then was content to sit and chew his fingernails and beer cup until the end of the game. About one inning provided amusement by the guy next to my friend with the peanut shell residue hanging from his chin. And then the spilling of the beer when he was leaning forward to read the text message from the soap opera guy.
For the most part I was impressed with the new scoreboard, but found myself looking at it when I should have been watching the game. Unfortunately I attended a game they lost. Lost due to their own errors. Count of the young girls puking on the curb on our way out-4. Always a pleasure to see them.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Mini Spring Break
In my younger years I remember being off school on Good Friday and the entire week after Easter. Once my kids were in school I would always take that week off to spend time with them. We did day trips and things around town-movies, zoo, museum and of course some shopping. I'm sure there were days in there that were cold or rainy but for the most there would be a few days warm enough to play outside.
I saw the forecast for the next week and felt sorry for the parent's and children who are off next week. Cold and rainy. This means either the kids will be stuck in the house fighting over video games or constantly complaining of boredom. Maybe there will be some trips to the movie theater or local pizza-arcade along with the tons of other parents trying to find something to amuse their kids.
For those who can afford to-pack the kids up and head south on a mini-vacation. Not north to a water park where millions of kids will be running around and waiting in endless lines for their turn. I'm wondering what happened to the warmer days of Spring break when we'd be out the door early in the morning on some neighborhood adventure. Mother Nature surely has some vengeance this season.
One of the Holidays we have at work is Good Friday. I decided to take tomorrow off as well and have a four day weekend. With the recent goings on with my Mother in law I need a day to catch up on a few things. A day for me is in order. I shall call it my Mini-Spring Break. It looks to be the only dry day in store for a while.
I saw the forecast for the next week and felt sorry for the parent's and children who are off next week. Cold and rainy. This means either the kids will be stuck in the house fighting over video games or constantly complaining of boredom. Maybe there will be some trips to the movie theater or local pizza-arcade along with the tons of other parents trying to find something to amuse their kids.
For those who can afford to-pack the kids up and head south on a mini-vacation. Not north to a water park where millions of kids will be running around and waiting in endless lines for their turn. I'm wondering what happened to the warmer days of Spring break when we'd be out the door early in the morning on some neighborhood adventure. Mother Nature surely has some vengeance this season.
One of the Holidays we have at work is Good Friday. I decided to take tomorrow off as well and have a four day weekend. With the recent goings on with my Mother in law I need a day to catch up on a few things. A day for me is in order. I shall call it my Mini-Spring Break. It looks to be the only dry day in store for a while.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
I Will Stay Calm
This is what I need to keep telling myself. I knew Mother in law would be content when at home but I hoped it would last longer than a day or so.
Yesterday she was supposed to call and get a refill on some pain medication. We had talked the day before about Tylenol verses prescription pain medication. She didn't have the RX filled before leaving the rehab (had to get out asap) and had a few left. She was sure she could make it until Monday. I called yesterday expecting to pick the RX up after work. Her frail voice told me that she decided she didn't need them. I'm not one to take these things myself but reminded her that she just had a major surgery and without them may not be able to get the proper rest she needs. She pooh-poohed me and said she was fine. I stopped for a bit after work and she mentioned feeling very tired and not sleeping well. This was in the course of two hours. I told her to call and I'd go get them and she once again said she could put if off until today. Last night at 8pm I called to check on her and she was miserable. In pain and the Tylenol was not doing it for her. She is now going to call this morning and maybe one of her kids that are not working could find it in their hearts to help their mother and pick them up.
Loo the "stressed out" sister made an appearance yesterday. But first we had to take a call from her daughter asking us not to bring up her weekend melt down. She was at Mom's when I got there and had I known I would have waited a bit. She was a little sneaky and parked her car behind the garage. Damn. She didn't have to much to say and the conversation was polite but strained. As she was leaving she let me know that she decided not to take the week off work to help out, but if we needed her to call. After her departure I had to deal with Mom who thinks she's the one who drove her to the melt down. Brother Ike who was supposed to bring a few items yesterday never showed up. Downstairs Debbie is doing her best to handle things and is doing a good job. Older brother and sister in law are in their own element and mention letting them know if she needs anything. My husband is fixing things that need fixed or fitted to her needs. Allow me to mention that I am very close to calling Ike (who is laid off and has nothing to do all day) and telling him to get his lazy arse over and take care of his mother. Maybe he shouldn't have told me that since his lay-off 2 months ago he has done nothing but sleep and watch TV.
My frustrations are not with my mother in law. My frustrations are with the ones who want to condemn each other yet always have something else going on when help is needed. Lazy Ike had the nerve to call our house yesterday to remind my husband to fix the knob on the medicine cabinet.
Thank goodness I have my blog to vent.
Yesterday she was supposed to call and get a refill on some pain medication. We had talked the day before about Tylenol verses prescription pain medication. She didn't have the RX filled before leaving the rehab (had to get out asap) and had a few left. She was sure she could make it until Monday. I called yesterday expecting to pick the RX up after work. Her frail voice told me that she decided she didn't need them. I'm not one to take these things myself but reminded her that she just had a major surgery and without them may not be able to get the proper rest she needs. She pooh-poohed me and said she was fine. I stopped for a bit after work and she mentioned feeling very tired and not sleeping well. This was in the course of two hours. I told her to call and I'd go get them and she once again said she could put if off until today. Last night at 8pm I called to check on her and she was miserable. In pain and the Tylenol was not doing it for her. She is now going to call this morning and maybe one of her kids that are not working could find it in their hearts to help their mother and pick them up.
Loo the "stressed out" sister made an appearance yesterday. But first we had to take a call from her daughter asking us not to bring up her weekend melt down. She was at Mom's when I got there and had I known I would have waited a bit. She was a little sneaky and parked her car behind the garage. Damn. She didn't have to much to say and the conversation was polite but strained. As she was leaving she let me know that she decided not to take the week off work to help out, but if we needed her to call. After her departure I had to deal with Mom who thinks she's the one who drove her to the melt down. Brother Ike who was supposed to bring a few items yesterday never showed up. Downstairs Debbie is doing her best to handle things and is doing a good job. Older brother and sister in law are in their own element and mention letting them know if she needs anything. My husband is fixing things that need fixed or fitted to her needs. Allow me to mention that I am very close to calling Ike (who is laid off and has nothing to do all day) and telling him to get his lazy arse over and take care of his mother. Maybe he shouldn't have told me that since his lay-off 2 months ago he has done nothing but sleep and watch TV.
My frustrations are not with my mother in law. My frustrations are with the ones who want to condemn each other yet always have something else going on when help is needed. Lazy Ike had the nerve to call our house yesterday to remind my husband to fix the knob on the medicine cabinet.
Thank goodness I have my blog to vent.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Pop Goes the Rib
With the weather lately I wasn't to shocked to see the snow this morning. It's spring snow and will be gone shortly. The sight of it is a little depressing being the 3rd week in April, but then again it has snowed in May.
I seemed to have popped some cartilage in my rib cage. Downstairs Debbie (sister-in-law) has a dog gate across her entrance door. I've walked over it many times. On Saturday amidst all the other drama going on I got one leg over and somehow my foot got hung up on the gate and down I went. I hit the wall with my arm and felt and heard a pop. Knocked the wind out of me and the fact that I was laughing didn't help matters much. See, in addition to laughing at others injuries-I laugh at my own. At first I though I may have done some damage to my arm but upon picking myself up off the floor I immediately felt the pain in my rib cage. I sat down for a minute to catch my breath and asked my husband what happens when one breaks a rib. His reply was simple "You can't breathe". Well I seemed to be having some difficulty in that area at the moment. "Oh, but you puncture your lung and die". That one made me chuckle a little. What, were they all sitting there staring at me and waiting for my lung to deflate like a balloon? I didn't see anyone moving toward a phone or anything? Guess they were just going to let it deflate.
After a few minutes I gained my composure, stood up and carried on with what I was doing. Saturday night I took some anti-inflammatory medication which didn't seem to help much. I didn't to well and yesterday the pain seemed to worsen. Last night was also a restless night and the pain has not subsided. I decided to call and talk to someone this morning. After describing what happened I was told that I must have pulled the cartilage. I need to ice it every two hours for 1/2 hour, continue to take the anti-inflammatory medicine and refrain from any sports, jogging, lifting, and aerobic activities. The pain will last 4-6 weeks depending on the severity. I can also tape the area to prevent me from straining it further. If the pain worsens I should come in for an x-ray. This ice thing at work isn't going to work either.
On a lighter note-Mother-in-law seems to be content at home. For now. I'm hoping that others will begin to pitch in and help a little. She'll need help with certain things for a while. The main issue is to get her strength built up for any further treatments she may need.
I seemed to have popped some cartilage in my rib cage. Downstairs Debbie (sister-in-law) has a dog gate across her entrance door. I've walked over it many times. On Saturday amidst all the other drama going on I got one leg over and somehow my foot got hung up on the gate and down I went. I hit the wall with my arm and felt and heard a pop. Knocked the wind out of me and the fact that I was laughing didn't help matters much. See, in addition to laughing at others injuries-I laugh at my own. At first I though I may have done some damage to my arm but upon picking myself up off the floor I immediately felt the pain in my rib cage. I sat down for a minute to catch my breath and asked my husband what happens when one breaks a rib. His reply was simple "You can't breathe". Well I seemed to be having some difficulty in that area at the moment. "Oh, but you puncture your lung and die". That one made me chuckle a little. What, were they all sitting there staring at me and waiting for my lung to deflate like a balloon? I didn't see anyone moving toward a phone or anything? Guess they were just going to let it deflate.
After a few minutes I gained my composure, stood up and carried on with what I was doing. Saturday night I took some anti-inflammatory medication which didn't seem to help much. I didn't to well and yesterday the pain seemed to worsen. Last night was also a restless night and the pain has not subsided. I decided to call and talk to someone this morning. After describing what happened I was told that I must have pulled the cartilage. I need to ice it every two hours for 1/2 hour, continue to take the anti-inflammatory medicine and refrain from any sports, jogging, lifting, and aerobic activities. The pain will last 4-6 weeks depending on the severity. I can also tape the area to prevent me from straining it further. If the pain worsens I should come in for an x-ray. This ice thing at work isn't going to work either.
On a lighter note-Mother-in-law seems to be content at home. For now. I'm hoping that others will begin to pitch in and help a little. She'll need help with certain things for a while. The main issue is to get her strength built up for any further treatments she may need.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Drop the Drama
It's Sunday. Typically the day of rest. I'm hoping for a least a little less drama for one day. I could be cursing myself at the moment, but the phone has been quiet for the past 10 hours.
Drama was the object of the week. Mother in law had surgery on Monday. Waiting area got tense a few times. Loo-the eldest daughter had "taken charge". I will give her the credit for providing the majority of her mothers care over the past 3 years. She has a job that allows her to do so. Every so often Loo becomes a little stressed and needs a break. In saying she provides the majority of the care I also mean that the rest of us pitch in. It's never good enough for Loo.
On Thursday a decision had to be made whether Mom would come home or go to rehab. I felt the decision was up to Mom. She's of sound mind and knows what she wants. Loo felt she should come home. She thought she could make that decision (to also fit her needs) and Mom had no choice. She shunned Mom going to rehab and brought up money issues. She volunteered my house which I was fine with Mom coming, but Loo decided she'd also come. (I secretly prayed that Mom would not choose that option). She volunteered her younger brother and us to pay a niece to care for her. She actually told the niece we would without asking us first.
Loo went up to tell Mom her plan and ran into the Social Worker who was setting up rehab for Mom. Mom had made the decision as she felt she would get Physical Therapy and be able to come home within a week or so. The rest of us stuck by Mom's decision. Loo stormed out of the hospital and has now "checked herself out" for a week or so.
I was a bit worried about her because I think she has some deep rooted emotional issues going on and this put a head on it. I spoke with her Thursday night and after listening to some of her issues though she may need some help.
On Friday we moved her to rehab. Arnie and I stayed with her until 8pm and she seemed to be doing okay. I did feel a little uneasy about her being in a room with a slightly crazy woman. I could see the look on Mom's face when this woman started talking nonsense and wondered if I should stay with her.
At 8:30 Saturday morning I received the frantic "get me out of here call". I called other brother Ike and off we went. She had a horrible night. They wouldn't let her get out of bed (she had been doing so the previous day), the food wasn't what she needed, the crazy lady talked all night, she got now sleep and they only allow you to take a shower once a week. We tried to settle her down, they offered her a private room, they mentioned she was on a general diet and told her the shower thing was not true-they just didn't want her to go unassisted.
Nothing was working so I said we would take her home. I knew at that point that this is the only thing that would make her happy, so we called out the rest of the family-except for Loo and got her home. Things were re-arranged and purchased to fit her needs. When everything settled down I looked at her and say content on her face and it made it all worth it.
I sent a message to Loo informing her that Mom was home. The reply I got was typical of her "What was the sense in sending her to rehab". My response was "I guess it's what she wanted to do". Loo seems the have Mom convinced that her "Medical Power of Attorney" status allows for her to make all Mom's decisions. The social worked spelled out to her that as long as her mother is of sound mind she can make her own decisions. I figure she's got stage 3 cancer which may be treatable , she has always done for everyone else-these children of her's need to get their acts together-drop the drama-and take care of their mother.
Drama was the object of the week. Mother in law had surgery on Monday. Waiting area got tense a few times. Loo-the eldest daughter had "taken charge". I will give her the credit for providing the majority of her mothers care over the past 3 years. She has a job that allows her to do so. Every so often Loo becomes a little stressed and needs a break. In saying she provides the majority of the care I also mean that the rest of us pitch in. It's never good enough for Loo.
On Thursday a decision had to be made whether Mom would come home or go to rehab. I felt the decision was up to Mom. She's of sound mind and knows what she wants. Loo felt she should come home. She thought she could make that decision (to also fit her needs) and Mom had no choice. She shunned Mom going to rehab and brought up money issues. She volunteered my house which I was fine with Mom coming, but Loo decided she'd also come. (I secretly prayed that Mom would not choose that option). She volunteered her younger brother and us to pay a niece to care for her. She actually told the niece we would without asking us first.
Loo went up to tell Mom her plan and ran into the Social Worker who was setting up rehab for Mom. Mom had made the decision as she felt she would get Physical Therapy and be able to come home within a week or so. The rest of us stuck by Mom's decision. Loo stormed out of the hospital and has now "checked herself out" for a week or so.
I was a bit worried about her because I think she has some deep rooted emotional issues going on and this put a head on it. I spoke with her Thursday night and after listening to some of her issues though she may need some help.
On Friday we moved her to rehab. Arnie and I stayed with her until 8pm and she seemed to be doing okay. I did feel a little uneasy about her being in a room with a slightly crazy woman. I could see the look on Mom's face when this woman started talking nonsense and wondered if I should stay with her.
At 8:30 Saturday morning I received the frantic "get me out of here call". I called other brother Ike and off we went. She had a horrible night. They wouldn't let her get out of bed (she had been doing so the previous day), the food wasn't what she needed, the crazy lady talked all night, she got now sleep and they only allow you to take a shower once a week. We tried to settle her down, they offered her a private room, they mentioned she was on a general diet and told her the shower thing was not true-they just didn't want her to go unassisted.
Nothing was working so I said we would take her home. I knew at that point that this is the only thing that would make her happy, so we called out the rest of the family-except for Loo and got her home. Things were re-arranged and purchased to fit her needs. When everything settled down I looked at her and say content on her face and it made it all worth it.
I sent a message to Loo informing her that Mom was home. The reply I got was typical of her "What was the sense in sending her to rehab". My response was "I guess it's what she wanted to do". Loo seems the have Mom convinced that her "Medical Power of Attorney" status allows for her to make all Mom's decisions. The social worked spelled out to her that as long as her mother is of sound mind she can make her own decisions. I figure she's got stage 3 cancer which may be treatable , she has always done for everyone else-these children of her's need to get their acts together-drop the drama-and take care of their mother.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A Long Day for Doris
Yesterday was surgery day for mother-in-law Doris. The surgery was planned for 12:15 but the nurses were convinced she'd be going in earlier so they whisked her away before several of us were able to see her. Whisked her away only to have her wait in the holding area until the original time of her surgery.
So the off-spring and their spouses hunkered down in the waiting area for what we were told would be about 3 hours. Luckily yesterday wasn't a busy surgery day and we had a nice area for the six of us. The boys were disappointed that the TV was out of their viewing area but they managed to make it through. The lap-top was brought out which gave us some entertainment for a bit. We were there for about an hour when a very familiar person made her way toward us. My little "tower of strength" had arrived with a bag of snacks and some magazines to tide us over. Many thanks to the best sister in law and friend ever Nannette!
As the day wore us then tension began to grow. My husband was smart in sitting off to the side and fake sleeping. Each of his family members are unique in their own way and were all there for the love they have for their Mother. Each one handles these things differently. Over the years there has been some tension between older sister and middle brother. He is very argumentative. We're talking about someone who shines around every once in a while and then wants to take charge. I had to remind them several times yesterday that we were there for Mom. He took several walks, I assume to cool down.
After about 3 1/2 hours the doctor appeared to tell us that they had removed about 90% of the tumor. He was not able to fully remove some that was embedded in her lymph nodes. She will need to have chemo to hopefully shrink down what is left. He went on to say she did well and they expected it to be worse. She will be able to come home by the end of the week and will start the chemo in a month or so. When asked about the side effects he did say she will lose her hair.
As we all sat and absorbed his words I couldn't help but think about her hair. It's a tiny little thing to go through to get better. She had mentioned to me the other day that she wanted to shave her head and start over as she was having such issues finding a good style. I think I'm going to have to take Mom for a nice haircut before she starts her Chemo. These things were racing through my mind when the humor started. Middle brother is going to the clown store to purchase her several wigs. Husband is going to give her his pirate wig. Sister in law has a blond wig from a past Halloween. I chuckled but then remarked that a hot wig in the summer may not be the best so I'll be hooking up with my friend who designs bandanna's just for this cause.
After about two hours we were told she was in her room and settled. Poor Mom was so uncomfortable and in pain that all I could do is give her a hug and tell her to get some rest. I'm not quite sure she even knew we were there. Older sister wanted to stick around and tell her the out come of her surgery. I just thought it would wait until today when she could absorb the information. She had been through enough already. Now comes the healing process.
So the off-spring and their spouses hunkered down in the waiting area for what we were told would be about 3 hours. Luckily yesterday wasn't a busy surgery day and we had a nice area for the six of us. The boys were disappointed that the TV was out of their viewing area but they managed to make it through. The lap-top was brought out which gave us some entertainment for a bit. We were there for about an hour when a very familiar person made her way toward us. My little "tower of strength" had arrived with a bag of snacks and some magazines to tide us over. Many thanks to the best sister in law and friend ever Nannette!
As the day wore us then tension began to grow. My husband was smart in sitting off to the side and fake sleeping. Each of his family members are unique in their own way and were all there for the love they have for their Mother. Each one handles these things differently. Over the years there has been some tension between older sister and middle brother. He is very argumentative. We're talking about someone who shines around every once in a while and then wants to take charge. I had to remind them several times yesterday that we were there for Mom. He took several walks, I assume to cool down.
After about 3 1/2 hours the doctor appeared to tell us that they had removed about 90% of the tumor. He was not able to fully remove some that was embedded in her lymph nodes. She will need to have chemo to hopefully shrink down what is left. He went on to say she did well and they expected it to be worse. She will be able to come home by the end of the week and will start the chemo in a month or so. When asked about the side effects he did say she will lose her hair.
As we all sat and absorbed his words I couldn't help but think about her hair. It's a tiny little thing to go through to get better. She had mentioned to me the other day that she wanted to shave her head and start over as she was having such issues finding a good style. I think I'm going to have to take Mom for a nice haircut before she starts her Chemo. These things were racing through my mind when the humor started. Middle brother is going to the clown store to purchase her several wigs. Husband is going to give her his pirate wig. Sister in law has a blond wig from a past Halloween. I chuckled but then remarked that a hot wig in the summer may not be the best so I'll be hooking up with my friend who designs bandanna's just for this cause.
After about two hours we were told she was in her room and settled. Poor Mom was so uncomfortable and in pain that all I could do is give her a hug and tell her to get some rest. I'm not quite sure she even knew we were there. Older sister wanted to stick around and tell her the out come of her surgery. I just thought it would wait until today when she could absorb the information. She had been through enough already. Now comes the healing process.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Can She Beat This?
My mother-in-law has had some medical issues that prompted us to take her to the ER two weeks ago. She started off thinking she had a bladder infection but then other symptoms began to appear (of the female sort). The doctor in the ER scared the living daylights out of her and she walked out of there thinking the worst and planning her funeral. She was prompted to see her doctor asap with the possibility of her referring her to a specialist.
She has a good general physician who did not delay matters and mom was off to the specialist within two days. This doctor was also good and sent her for further tests the same day. On Friday we received notice that she was going to be meeting with the OBGYN specialist, her doctor and the oncologist yesterday morning. So yesterday was the waiting game. By the time I left work yesterday I was informed of the diagnosis. She has ovarian cancer.
The doctor gave her three options-leave it-have surgery and then possible chemo-have radical chemo and hope it shrinks it down. After laying it on the line and giving her the options he left the room so she could discuss things with the two of her children that accompanied her. Her first words were "I'm just going to leave it. What's the use." That was the initial shock.
The doctor came back in and announced that he is legally bound to give the options but highly recommended the surgery. Told her that although they sometimes don't know how far the cancer has spread until they open you up, he felt strongly that there was a very good chance that this could be nipped in the bud. She opted for the surgery which brought a sigh of relief from all of us.
So Doris has surgery on Monday. They'll be doing a total hysterectomy and taking lymph nodes from two areas. She'll be uncomfortable for a bit but probably not as uncomfortable as she has been for the past 6 months. The decision for chemo won't be made until 12 or so weeks after the surgery.
I had the dreaded duty of telling my husband and convincing him to be positive for his mother. We can cry at home, but in front of her we need to be strong and remain positive. She's been a fighter all her life but does tend to let the doom and gloom in at times. After stopping to see her last night I feel good that she opted for the surgery and is approaching it with a fighting attitude.
She has a good general physician who did not delay matters and mom was off to the specialist within two days. This doctor was also good and sent her for further tests the same day. On Friday we received notice that she was going to be meeting with the OBGYN specialist, her doctor and the oncologist yesterday morning. So yesterday was the waiting game. By the time I left work yesterday I was informed of the diagnosis. She has ovarian cancer.
The doctor gave her three options-leave it-have surgery and then possible chemo-have radical chemo and hope it shrinks it down. After laying it on the line and giving her the options he left the room so she could discuss things with the two of her children that accompanied her. Her first words were "I'm just going to leave it. What's the use." That was the initial shock.
The doctor came back in and announced that he is legally bound to give the options but highly recommended the surgery. Told her that although they sometimes don't know how far the cancer has spread until they open you up, he felt strongly that there was a very good chance that this could be nipped in the bud. She opted for the surgery which brought a sigh of relief from all of us.
So Doris has surgery on Monday. They'll be doing a total hysterectomy and taking lymph nodes from two areas. She'll be uncomfortable for a bit but probably not as uncomfortable as she has been for the past 6 months. The decision for chemo won't be made until 12 or so weeks after the surgery.
I had the dreaded duty of telling my husband and convincing him to be positive for his mother. We can cry at home, but in front of her we need to be strong and remain positive. She's been a fighter all her life but does tend to let the doom and gloom in at times. After stopping to see her last night I feel good that she opted for the surgery and is approaching it with a fighting attitude.
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