After over a week of taking care of business & sorting through my brother's things, it's back to work tomorrow. I don't think I'm ready. In my mind I know I have to get back to a normal life, but in my heart I don't want to let go. My parents head back to Arizona tomorrow morning and saying good-bye was difficult as usual. This is a time when I do not wish to trade places with them.
I've been told over and over again by many people that in time life will get better. I think what makes it so hard is seeing the girls. The younger one is hurting and showing it in ways a ten year old would. The 15 year old is hurting and shows it like we do. Little things set her off. Her mother sets her off. They have a strained relationship. She had an out with her father. They had an excellent relationship. I think the last time he had to yell at her she was probably around 5.
In two weeks we start a four day 10 hour day. I will now be back to having Fridays off. This will allow me to catch up on things around here. For over a year now I've been putting off organizing and cleaning up the spare rooms. Every time I tried to do it in the past David came to live with us. I think in the back of my mind I put if off thinking he'd be coming back. I may just have to hold that room for his daughter now. Maybe fixing it up in more of a girlie fashion is the answer. She would have a safe haven here. If she could cook that would be a free ticket in.