Thursday, September 30, 2010


Here comes another post regarding priorities. Must be a subject that really irks me because I tend to write about it a lot.

I have not always made the wisest choices in my life, but I can tell you that I have borrowed money once from someone and paid it back before I spent money on nonessential items. By nonessential, I mean things I did not need or could wait until I paid this person back. The money I borrowed haunted me until I made the last payment. This was an emergency borrowing situation and this person was kind enough to offer. I paid them back because I borrowed the money and it was my responsibility to pay them back.

I am careful about who I borrow money to. We have been hit up by relatives to help them out a little. Some were worthy of it. What makes me angry is the borrower that promises the pay back with the next check or anticipated tax return. One of the all time favorite excuses I've heard is "oh my gosh, I forgot". How do you forget you borrowed money from someone? I'm not talking about the quarter, nickle or dime one might borrow for the vending machine. I'm talking about the hundred dollar amounts.

Two issues stick out in my mind that bother me. The first was years ago when I received a call from a friend crying about how they had no money and could not afford groceries or diapers for their baby. Since we had borrowed money to them before without being paid back, I was hesitant. Instead of cash we went to the store and purchased the items for them. We brought the items over to their house and the husband came home with a case of beer and bottle of alcohol. Great priorities.

Same couple years later. Husband is in hospital on and off for two months. They're living on bare minimum as he's been out of work for a while. Many people jump forward and pay bills for them and come up with cash and gift cards to help them out. This is a situation where I didn't expect to be paid back. What I didn't expect was to drop in to visit a few weeks later and see a brand new flat screen TV in their living room and one in their bedroom. Once again-priorities. Basically the only conversations her and I have are when I listen to how broke they are. Yes, prescription medications and hospital bills will take a toll on your bank account, but so will over spending on unnecessary items.

Now lets get to the story that really bothers me. Daughter of hospitalized father lives out of state. She wanted to visit her father. The drive would have taken her 12 hours. She wanted to fly in as she had a limited amount of time. Several people offered to pay her plane fare but when it came to actually do so they backed out. The father's sister purchases her a one way ticket. She spends about 2 hours at the hospital with her father and then goes about visiting friends, getting her hair cut and picking up a few items. We get a phone call from her stating that the aunt had told her we were buying her ticket home. I offered to borrow her the money. She didn't know when she'd be able to pay me back. They were so broke. So I purchased the over-priced one way ticket and told her that we'd work something out with paying it back. A week after the girl arrives back home she sends a email with her new $600.00 dog. Within a month or so she sends pictures of her new camper. In the course of all this I get a call from her mother thanking me for paying for her ticket. I explain that we helped her out by borrowing her the money.
Over the course of the last two years the girl has purchased several big ticket items, including just recently another $600.00 dog, yet she is still posting about how she is always broke. I am so close to reminding her of her obligation to pay this money back. I am more angry now because of the disrespect that she has shown. She is my god-daughter and over the course of her life I have done more than the average person would do. The girl is 33 years old now and I am constantly reminded not to forget her birthday or Christmas. Really?

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

No Mental Mistakes

"Don't make the same mental mistakes that caused the Green Bay Packers to lose to the Bears" This is the message that the President has passed on to students in Wisconsin. Did he just jot that down on the plane ride. Maybe he figured that talking sports was a way to hold their attention.

I'm glad yesterday is over. The loss was tough enough, but they lost the game over the penalities they committed. Period. Chat rooms were buzzing yesterday putting the blame on the refs. Co-workers were complaining about the refs. And then last night at Dylan's football game people were still talking about the bad calls made by the refs. Maybe there might have been one or two, but for the most part from what I saw, the Packers were at fault. They lost the game due to their mistakes. If they can own up to it then their fans need to also.

I watched an interesting show on PBS last night about baseball. Funny how when every day life goes on you forget something as news worthy as the baseball strike. Showed the half empty stadiums after the strikes, people throwing money onto the field and the heckling of the players. Former President Bill Clinton also stepped in (according to the program). They credit Cal Ripken Jr. with bringing baseball back to where it should be. For setting a starting record and being the greatest shortstop in baseball history. I guess I dozed off right about then, so I'll have to see if I can find it on demand to hear the rest of the story.

Back to football. A man appears at Dylan's game last night sporting a Chicago Bears hat. He took some slack for it, including from his kids. "Dad, did you forget you're a Packer fan" The guy gives the worst reply in the world. "Yeah, but the Bears have the top record right now"
Now there is a loyal fan for you.

Monday, September 27, 2010

And we're walkin

Yesterday marked the 4th year our group has walked in the Susan B Komen race for the cure. The first year was the group of girls and then the guys joined us in the years after. Proud of my daughter who along with her friend and her daughters made the walk yesterday also.

I was always aware of breast cancer and like everyone else knew someones sister, friend, mother or daughter who had breast cancer. It's something that one is aware of but unless it hits someone close to you , it's stored in the back of your mind. In the past I had donated to the Cure and read many articles and life stories of those affected. As much as I dreaded it I faithfully had my annual checks after turning 40. Than it hit our family with a double whammy. First Nanette and then my mother. Two of the strongest women I know. Two fighters.
Nanette's diagnosis woke my mother into having a mammogram which she had skipped for several years. This allowed them to find her cancer very early on and not much treatment was needed. I had been on her for years to keep having them, so this was the one time I got to say "I told you so" to my mother. Not under the best circumstances, but I think I was allowed that one.

The walk is for a good cause. Yesterday's walk was a record crowd. I have been pretty fortunate in joining Nanette for the survivor breakfast each year. As I sit with her I look around at all the people in pink Survivor tee shirts. These are ordinary people who have been stricken with the disease. I look at the time and effort these people put in to hats, tee shirts and accessories and see the smiles on their faces. This is their day. Their day to celebrate the obstacles they have over come. Their day to hope that someday soon there will be a cure for this disease. I celebrate that I can sit there with my friend feel proud to be with her. (oh, and the bagels are good also) I sit there hoping for the same thing they do. For a cure.

Once done with the Survivor breakfast it's on to meet up with the rest of our fellow walkers. We don't have an overly large group, but the group we have are close and there for a good cause and for the support of our friend. Scanning the crowd will show all the other people there for the same reason. For their mom, wife, husband, sister, daughter, aunt, friend, and the list goes on.
As I'm walking I get into the habit of looking at the tags on their backs and seeing who they're walking for or in memory of. It disturbs me to see so many "in memory of" tags.
Yesterday was a record crowd. I felt proud to be a part of it. I plan to continue walking along with my friend until there is a cure. I will walk afterward also, to give my thanks for someone finding a cure. A pat on the back to all those who took the time and effort to support the cause yesterday. It was good to be a part of it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

I Want Some Answers!

There may have been some details from yesterday that prompted the dream/nightmare I had last night.
Yesterday afternoon facebook was down. Upon arriving home both my granddaughters and daughter were sitting at the kitchen table brooding. I had to remind them that facebook being down is not the end of the world and life would go on. Later on when I checked my email I found a friend request from my ex-husbands current wife (divorce in process). Not only did I find one from her, but then also one from his 2nd wife. I found it funny. Was it now time to get together and bash Jon publicly? I smell some sinister reasoning for this. I also found it odd that wife #2 and wife # 3 are friends now. Is there some club forming that I am invited to? Will I feel left out if I don't join.
My thoughts and feeling regarding Jon will not be aired on facebook. It's a natural fact that people will write more than they have the guts to say in person. I've also recently been witness to a bashing on fb that involved a person who did not have fb and was therefore unable to defend them self. Facebook is for fun. It's to share things with people. It's not to publicly bash a defenseless person. Nuff said. On to the dream.

I am at Dylan's football game intently watching the game. Wife #2 and #3 come walking over wishing to speak to me. I wave them off and tell them whatever it is can wait until after the game. I begin to notice other people around me. My ex-sister-in-laws, a few friends we had as a couple, my mother and a group of current friends. I look over and see ex husband with his current girlfriend (90 lb crack head-for real). I begin to wonder if something is up.
Flash forward to end of game and Dylan coming over to the sidelines. I try to get a picture of him and new girlfriend tries to get in the picture. This makes me angry and I ask her to move. She begins to cry and asks what she needs to do to be accepted by Jon's family. I start to laugh and wish her luck.
I am then face to face with Jon and mention that he owes me some money (that part is true). He begins to cry and tell me that he cannot believe how much he messed his life up. Points to the girlfriend and two ex's and tells me none of this would have happened to him if I had never divorced him. I explain to him that cheating will get you a divorce. He swears that if I take him back that it will never happen again. He just wants a chance to be happy again. The ex's appear and back him up. My stomach begins to churn and I can feel myself getting angry. I ask him why he did it in the first place and he tells me that he just figured I wouldn't care. I go on to tell him that I'm glad he did or I wouldn't be where I am now. The ex's are still backing him up and the girlfriend begins to chime in also. I looked for Barney to tell him it was time to leave and he tells me to make a choice right now. Huh? I am so confused that I wake up from the hellish dream. I actually think I forced myself awake because I felt instant relief and sighed when I woke up.

So the dope brings the current girlfriend to Dylan's game the other night. No shocker to me as he's done worse but I think he could have maybe introduced the girl to the grand kids at a more appropriate time and place. The little I know about her had come through my kids. Wife #3 filed for a separation a few months ago. She did it in hope that it would scare him and they'd work thing out. It backfired on her as he wasted no time in making his current fling public.
I'm not really interested in joining the club. The way I see it is I got the only good part of that marriage. Two kids.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

News Flash

According to the newspaper and radio broadcasts this morning the Recession ended in July of 2009. This seems to have come as a shock to many people. If the recession has ended then why hasn't my husbands wage been restored? Why are people still having problems selling their homes? Why are so many people still out of work and still losing their jobs? Why are there still so many foreclosures and bankruptcies being filed?
Has the recession ended, or are people just learning to live with the financial downfalls?
I understand that when the economy was good people got a little more comfortable with their spending. Interest rates were down, luring people in to purchasing homes they really could not afford and using charge cards they would soon find out of control. We've always been a bit cautious about our spending, assuring that if there was a loss of a job or some sort of emergency the bills would still be payable. I can understand the trap that some people have been caught in. The realization that these things have to be paid back can slap one in the face. I have seen friends/relatives get caught up with the loss of a job or medical issues. I am no where near an expert on finances, but some of these mishaps were self-inflicted. Out of control spending.
This concludes the soap-box portion of my blog.

On to the Pirate Wedding we attended. When the details of the wedding first started coming out I thought it was kind of silly. I've been to several themed weddings in the past and thought them cute and original. Wasn't sure how well the pirate thing would go over. They picked the perfect place for the wedding. The South Shore pavilion. The building and natural scenery was perfect. The couple put a lot of time and effort into the planning and decor.
I wasn't aware that my husband was planning of dressing the part until about two weeks ago. He made several trips to thrift shops and Goodwill looking for items. We ended up running around to several Halloween stores over the weekend to complete his attire and find things for me. He looked good. Some would say there was not much of a difference but I must argue the point. His normal attire does not consist of a ruffled shirt or stripped pants. The wig he wore drove him nuts. I wanted to braid the hair for him but he'd have no part of that.
The ceremony itself was short and well written by the groom. Dinner was good and was of a Caribbean Cuisine. The beef was good but I shied away from the salmon. The reception was supposed to last until 11:30 but was almost empty of guests by 9. Being that it was a Sunday I'm going with the fact that most people needed to work on Monday. That and the fact that the band was not holding the crowd. I'm not sure that the bride and groom even cared that the place was just about empty. They seemed very relieved that things went so well, but were dead tired from all the planning and set up. All in all is was a lot of fun and the crowd participation was more than they hoped for.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Out Of Sorts

I have zero tolerance for people that lie to me. Or shall I say "attempt to pull one over". We dropped our truck off for repair yesterday afternoon and were told we'd have a free loaner. This entailed the service manager calling the rental car place a few blocks away and having them pick us up. The car rental guy showed up a few minutes driving a Jeep. My first thought was we were going to drop him off and have the Jeep. Bubble burst! We got back to the car rental place and were told we would be given a Silver Honda Civic that just came back and was getting washed at the moment. The loaner itself is free but then came the spiel regarding insurance. Our car insurance will cover any vehicle we drive, but then there's the deductible and the fact that if we take their insurance there will be no charges at all to us except the $15.00 a day to carry it. This, in my eyes, makes the loaner not free. My husband brought up the fact that our credit card automatically covers any charges incurred by an accident. Well that would be fine and dandy if we had used the credit card to rent the car in the first place.
After all the paperwork was done we went to check out the car prior to leaving. No dings, dents or damage found except normal wear and tear. The guy is talking this car up like it's the best thing since baseball. We got the keys and when starting it up I immediately notice the flashing service light. I call the guy back over and he tells us that the car is fine, they probably just forgot to reset the warning after the last oil change. Goes on to explain that the cars are checked out via computer and it checked out fine. I bring to his attention that the warning signal is noting that it required service 1.2 miles ago. Seeing that the car just came back a few moments before we came in can he honestly say it was checked out? He did note it on the paperwork and off we went.
I hate the car for several reasons. I'll never be able to find it in a parking lot unless I memorize the plate numbers. Have you ever noticed how many silver Civics's there are? It's way to low to the ground. I watched my husband just about exit on his knees. I feel vulnerable in this little car, after driving a truck for 10 plus years. I don't think it goes over 60. The stupid warning light drove me nuts as it was flashing all the way to work. The radio is good. The seat adjustment is really awkward and not power. I guess I just got spoiled.
I'm so out of sorts with this car that I forgot my phone this morning. Not that in itself is not a good feeling.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Red Mullet

I started a water aerobics class last night with my friend Donna at a suburban high school. We had taken the class about 2 years ago and the attendance was low so they had cut out the class the following season. The teacher at the time was a little more intersted in gabbing with the ladies than teaching a class.
We arrived last night and found the parking lot to be packed. I figured walking the little extra to the entrance was a good think while my friend wanted to get closer. I wasn't about to drive around waiting for a spot to open so while listening to her complain we made the hike. In the past class there were about 15 women tops. We walked into the pool area and were among the 30 women enrolled in the class. I noticed some women from the past class we had attended.
One woman in particular must have felt she was the queen bee of the class. She noticed us right away and had to make her way to welcome us back. She started bringing us up to date on the "gossip ". I have no interest nor do I know these people. I'm there for the class, so I slowly backed away from her.
When the instructor appeared I had to do a double take. Change the red mullet hair style and she could have been my friend Kim. The facial expressions, the body movements and the sternness in her voice was right on. My friend who has only met Kim and handful of times had a hard time believing it wasn't her. She was very vocal and very descriptive in the routine we should be following. I give her a 10 in teaching abilities.
I found the class to be interesting. Got a good work out but also noticed that about 1/2 of the class was much more interested in chatting and doing their own thing rather than listening to the instructor. I guess being the newbies kept us out of the loop. The head hen kept moving over toward us and letting us know she takes the class twice a week and has been for years. One girl, also new, who joined the class to lose weight commented that the "chubby head hen" should move instead of gab and maybe she'd lose a few hundred pounds.
I didn't give much thought to after the class. The changing room is a little chilly and as of right now going outside afterward was okay. The class goes until the first week in December. It's going to be a little chilly in the future. My friend brought up the fact that we could be standing outside scraping windows. I may need to find a Saturday morning class for the winter session.

Monday, September 13, 2010


Today would have been my brother David's birthday. Funny how certain days stick out in your mind. I remember eating dinner and my father trying to get us to hurry as he had to take Mom to the hospital. It was so quick that the dinner dishes didn't get done. My aunt and grandmother came to pick my two brothers and I up and my aunt almost got into an accident on the way back to grandma's house. We stayed there a while until my dad came back to tell us we had a brother. I had wanted a sister but got over it pretty quick. I also had to do the dishes when we got back home.
Anyway..remembering David on his day.


This was my home for 6 days. You'll notice my husband legs as he sits in his chair which was his home for 6 days. I guess you could minus the times he sat at the table playing cards or eating, and the times he got up to play washers and go to the bathroom. He appeared to have a very relaxing week.
We hit some rain on the trip up and the credits were mounting. I'm not sure they ever cashed in on their Jack & Cokes. We stopped at the usual diner for a quick bite to eat prior to the last 10 miles to the campground. Waitress remembered offering to help one of the guys pitch his tent. I think she may have forgotten the message she had shown him on his phone, or she chose not to discuss it due to other customers being in the diner.
We lucked out with good weather. Had a few windy days which made fishing a little difficult. I did manage to catch the first fish which had to be released as he was a tad bit to small. Dick had a pretty good size carp that he had hooked in the back. He handed over his fishing pole so I could get the feel of a larger fish. Big ugly thing had to be tossed. Where was Catfish Charlie when you needed him? That would have made some good eats for his cat.

The casino took up some time but was pretty much a bust for all. I managed to come out a little ahead but nothing to write home about. Damn the no carrying in wood laws as it cost us a small fortune to purchase wood every day. It proved worth it as we had some pretty good fires. The citronella candle in the fire wasn't as great as the first one we'd done years ago. Sometimes you just can't repeat history.
As usual there were some pretty good quotes going around but I never felt like getting up and getting a paper and pen to write them down and my phone (believe it or not) was not getting service. I missed my phone but proved that I could go 6 days without it. I did cheat a little and made a few calls on the way to the Casino. I would mention some funny things and a Trevor Hoffman related comment that was made...but I guess what happens at Yellowstone stays at Yellowstone. Maybe a few beers would help to get it out.
All in all I had a great time. Coming back was hard. Missed certain people and my pets but did not miss the daily grindstone of work. The attempt was made to purchase the correct lottery ticket but I guess it's just not the right time.
Guy at work told me that camping was to much work. He doesn't get the reasoning for packing up all your stuff and sleeping outside and then having to come home and have more work waiting for you. Sometimes you have to put a little effort into having a good time. I had a great time and am looking forward to doing it again next year. Hopefully with the entire group. Two of our fellow campers were greatly missed.