Friday, October 22, 2010


After being married for nearly ten years, my daughter began single yesterday. Single to the point of also changing her name back to her maiden name.
I've known about the court date for a few months now and have been trying to "read" her. I often wonder how ironic life can be, in that some of her life mimics my own.

Has second thoughts before marriage- check
After a year into the marriage wants out-check
Husband begs her to stay & promises to change his ways-check
Husband cheats again and this time there's no forgiving-check
Move home with two kids-check.
Sits around moping for a while until Mom tells her to "get on with your life"-check

A few days before the court date we sat and had a heart to heart. I told her that when I divorced her dad that I was sad because it wasn't the course I thought my life would take. When I got married at 19 I was naive enough to think that life would be all rosy. I became the one that would deal with any financial and family issues while he just had a free for all. She had similar circumstances and therefore resentment begins to set in. At this point you have two choices: continue your course of being responsible and trying to get ahead on your own, or succumb to this person's immaturity and "settle" for the type of life you're in for. Turn your back on your spouse's infidelity and just be there whenever he needs you.
As a parent, I didn't want to see her marriage fall apart. Like me, she didn't reveal any of the problems leading to the split, but I could sense things weren't right. When she finally did break down and talk about some issues, it was very hard to keep my thoughts to myself. I could have ripped him apart, but then there was the fear that she'd go back and always know what I thought of her husband, so I ripped him apart to myself and friends. When she told me that she was going through with the divorce I wanted to whoop it up somewhere! I'm now very proud that she has chosen to get her life back on track and find herself again. It'll be a little bit of a rocky road for a while but I see the determination in her, and I think with a few pushes (or maybe a shove) she'll be on that track in no time.

1 comment:

Kris said...

Like you, your daughter sounds like a trooper, in the end she made the best decision. Good for her.