Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Colonoscopy-A Crappy Subject

What better thing to write about. I have put this routine off for a few years and after being prompted by my doctor decided to go for it. I also made an pact with my friend that we'd both have it done this year. I made enough excuses in the past few years and reality set in and I made the call.
The initial consult with the doctor wasn't bad. A few instructions and a month to mull it over and cancel if I chose to. My friend went first. There was quite a difference in the prep required. She couldn't have anything with seeds or nuts for the 5 days before and then began a pretty restricted liquid diet the day before. She also began to take a syrup substance provided by her physician. After her procedure she let me know that she was not chained to her toilet all day. Things went pretty smoothly for her. A mild cramping but that was about it.
My prep began the day after Christmas. No solid food. (hide the cookies!). Jello or liquids only. Liquids meaning clear broth, fruit juices, water and Popsicles. I had to take 4 tablets at 3 pm. Within 1/2 hour my stomach was churning. I chose not to eat anything and also was not hungry to this point. At 5 pm I was to mix a full bottle of Murilax with 64 ounces of any flavor Gatorade I chose. I chose Ice Blue Frost. I was then to drink an 8 ounce glass every 1/2 hour until it was gone. Needless to say I did miss several Packer scores. At this point I thought it would be much worse (horror stories heard) and remarked to my husband that it wasn't so bad. By the time I got to the last 8 ounces of mix I really struggled to get it down. I did get it down before the allotted 2 hours.
This is when all hell broke loose. I'm not a big sugar laden beverage drinker. The Gatorade was doing a number on me. I broke into a sweat and could feel my stomach rejecting whatever I was drinking. No where on my handy brochure did it say anything about vomiting. Without revealing the nitty gritty of it all, I will say that the garbage bags I use in my bathroom garbage can hold plenty of liquid. This little ordeal even brought my husband to the bathroom door. I could do nothing but laugh at this point. I don't know how I found humor in it but I did.
The rest of the night went well. I was clean and ready to go. The exam itself was a piece of cake. I was put into a Twilight sleep but woke up close to the end. Couldn't feel a thing but could see the screen. Kind of blurry after that until I was taken back to the holding area and my husband appeared. Within 1/2 hour was up and out the door. Checked in at 10:45 and out by 12:30.
My advice...not that big of a deal. Do what they tell you..don't cheat and eat, and buy the flavor of Gatorade that you are least likely to buy on a regular basis. This ordeal need only be done once every 10 years if you come out clean. Five years if there is a family history or they detect anything. Not bad considering it's a preventative measure.

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