Sunday, April 17, 2011

Drop the Drama

It's Sunday. Typically the day of rest. I'm hoping for a least a little less drama for one day. I could be cursing myself at the moment, but the phone has been quiet for the past 10 hours.
Drama was the object of the week. Mother in law had surgery on Monday. Waiting area got tense a few times. Loo-the eldest daughter had "taken charge". I will give her the credit for providing the majority of her mothers care over the past 3 years. She has a job that allows her to do so. Every so often Loo becomes a little stressed and needs a break. In saying she provides the majority of the care I also mean that the rest of us pitch in. It's never good enough for Loo.
On Thursday a decision had to be made whether Mom would come home or go to rehab. I felt the decision was up to Mom. She's of sound mind and knows what she wants. Loo felt she should come home. She thought she could make that decision (to also fit her needs) and Mom had no choice. She shunned Mom going to rehab and brought up money issues. She volunteered my house which I was fine with Mom coming, but Loo decided she'd also come. (I secretly prayed that Mom would not choose that option). She volunteered her younger brother and us to pay a niece to care for her. She actually told the niece we would without asking us first.
Loo went up to tell Mom her plan and ran into the Social Worker who was setting up rehab for Mom. Mom had made the decision as she felt she would get Physical Therapy and be able to come home within a week or so. The rest of us stuck by Mom's decision. Loo stormed out of the hospital and has now "checked herself out" for a week or so.
I was a bit worried about her because I think she has some deep rooted emotional issues going on and this put a head on it. I spoke with her Thursday night and after listening to some of her issues though she may need some help.
On Friday we moved her to rehab. Arnie and I stayed with her until 8pm and she seemed to be doing okay. I did feel a little uneasy about her being in a room with a slightly crazy woman. I could see the look on Mom's face when this woman started talking nonsense and wondered if I should stay with her.
At 8:30 Saturday morning I received the frantic "get me out of here call". I called other brother Ike and off we went. She had a horrible night. They wouldn't let her get out of bed (she had been doing so the previous day), the food wasn't what she needed, the crazy lady talked all night, she got now sleep and they only allow you to take a shower once a week. We tried to settle her down, they offered her a private room, they mentioned she was on a general diet and told her the shower thing was not true-they just didn't want her to go unassisted.
Nothing was working so I said we would take her home. I knew at that point that this is the only thing that would make her happy, so we called out the rest of the family-except for Loo and got her home. Things were re-arranged and purchased to fit her needs. When everything settled down I looked at her and say content on her face and it made it all worth it.
I sent a message to Loo informing her that Mom was home. The reply I got was typical of her "What was the sense in sending her to rehab". My response was "I guess it's what she wanted to do". Loo seems the have Mom convinced that her "Medical Power of Attorney" status allows for her to make all Mom's decisions. The social worked spelled out to her that as long as her mother is of sound mind she can make her own decisions. I figure she's got stage 3 cancer which may be treatable , she has always done for everyone else-these children of her's need to get their acts together-drop the drama-and take care of their mother.

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