Friday, November 07, 2008

Herbie Is a Crabby Old Man

Being off on Friday's has allowed me to see what the rest of the world does on a weekday. Most of my experiences with the general public have been either on the road or shopping. I'm all about getting up and out early to avoid any type of crowd. I think this has been the key to me noticing much more than I do in crowded after 5 or weekend shopping.

I'm finding that early morning shopping has been left to parent's with small children, seniors or the other few of us that are blessed with this day off. The day time parent's with small children seem to be very patient with the child that is starting to act up. There is usually a comment in a stern but patient voice asking the child to nicely sit down or stay right by me. It's not like the weekend Walmart shoppers that threaten to "bitch slap your little ass if you don't sit down right now". I've found that shopping in jeans and a sweater is not the style. I would fit in more if I had a lime green or bright pink nylon jogging suit and my hair was done up in a high pony tail and maybe bleached blond. Oh, and flip flops. Who the heck walks around in flip flops in 45 degree weather.

I've come to find that seniors are always in a hurry. The men folk are practically pushing down anyone who gets in their way. If they are in an aisle and blocking someone from getting around them, they will not budge. They act like you may get to the end of the aisle before them. This I do not understand as if you are retired then what the heck else do you have to do all day? I observed the impatience of one man at the deli counter as there were two other people before him. He huffed and puffed and rolled his eyes for each thing one customer ordered. Just to tick him off I thought about ordering two slices of about 10 different meats. I'm sure he would have kicked my butt on the spot.

Seniors in the parking lots are another story. First off the women usually cannot see over the steering wheel and they come in pairs. Two chatty little old ladies looking for the best spot, driving right down the middle of the aisle and damn you if you are coming with a cart. Just get out of the way as they can't see you. They can see a bingo number from across a bingo hall, but they won't see you. The men drivers will honk if you're in their way. Not just a little tap but a full blown honk and a fist waving just in case you didn't get the picture.

Let's talk about one of them being in the check out line behind you. My cart was not yet unloaded as I was waiting for Harriet in front of me to find her wallet, when Herbie who was behind me started putting his stuff on the belt. In trying to be polite I said "I still have things in my cart. I'm waiting for her to finish and move". I heard a grunt. He then made a comment that she needed to move as this wasn't a social hour here. Couldn't believe he turned on one of his own.

Cashier's are politer in the morning. They haven't had a full day of crap yet. Therefore they are nicer to your groceries and won't throw your bread down to be squished by can foods. Sometimes they even put the bread to the side. If you are lucky enough to have a bagger, they pack sensibly, meaning there will be more then one thing packed in a bag and your eggs will not be on the bottom of the 2 liter bottle of soda.

There is a whole different world out there on a weekday. After the holidays are over and the Christmas bargin shopping is out of the way, I'm going to work on having to go the the grocery store only once every two weeks.

No comments: