Friday, August 07, 2009

Universal Sign is Understood

On my way home from work today I stopped to feed my nasty habit. There's a "Discount Cigarette" store close to my home. When I walked up to the store I noticed a sign that said "Under New Ownership". Would that mean that the turban man who ran it before was no longer there. He really did have discount cigarettes. I also noticed the door was locked. I started to walk away when a man opened the door and yelled that they were open. I've seen him in there before so I though he must not be the new owner.
I'm standing at the counter and he goes into a broken English speech about being the new owner and prices have gone down. I tell him the brand I want and hand him a coupon. $76.00 was the total. "What?" I say as I pull back my coupon. I then glance behind the counter at other brands of cigarettes and notice that they are all higher than normal. He mentions that taxes went up. I then nicely say "That's okay, that's way to expensive". I go on to mention that just the other day I bought a pack at Pick & Save for $5.45 and I had noticed their cartons were about $25.00 cheaper. This buffoon then rattles off something in his language and then says "No they're not cheaper". You can't come in here and say that so I sell them to you cheaper". I could feel my blood start to heat. First of all speak to me in English. Second of all do not call me a liar. I told him I'd got to Pick & Save and bring back the receipt (in English). He rattles something again in his language to another man behind the counter and I could totally tell he was talking about me and that did it.
I'm not real proud of this but in the famous words of the jailed "Chicago" women "He had it coming". I started to walk toward the door and he spewed out something else. At which point I proudly raised my middle finger and said "I bet we both understand what that means ass wipe".
Best part of this whole thing is that two customers walked out right behind me.
I hate that these people think they can mooch into our country and wiggle through the red tape of owning gas stations, doughnut shops and discount stores but then mark things up 50% more. New ownership my ass buddy. You just transferred it over to a family members name. I saw turban man in the back of the store when I left. Apparently he didn't have a clue of what was going on as he waved to me.
Hey, the moral of the story is simple. Quit smoking.
Ass wipe came up on my spell check.

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