Sunday, August 09, 2009

I Can Do Without The Drama

I love my family. I would do just about anything for them and have. There are only a few things that I ask in return. Don't lie to me, don't take advantage of me and do not take anything from my house that does not belong to you. It's most likely that if you are down and out , maybe just lost a job, maybe just had a ton of crap happen to you that I will help you. But then at least show some effort that you are attempting to get your life back on order.

Several times over the past year I've been taken advantage of. #1 was purchasing an airline ticket for someone to fly back home after visiting her ill father. I was told this person was broke. So how do you purchase a $500.00 dog and a camper within a month of you getting back home? How do you not return the cash? Done. It will never happen again.

My brother, GOD rest his soul lived here and contributed in some way. Yes I bitched about his sloppy ways, but he went to work everyday. He tried to crawl out of his hole. I want to truly say he never lied to me not took a thing from my home.

Other family members that we had stay with us were good. Chico cut our grass, cooked, cleaned and contributed. Excellent tenant if he ever comes knocking on your door.

My younger sister stayed with us for her last year of college. Excellent tenant. She didn't cook but she did organize my can cupboards and was my walking buddy. She could come back.

The other sister was here several times and each time was working and did get out. She didn't cook and was a bit messy but she's changed. I'd have to think about the return.

Now we have the situation of her daughter, my niece. She took off 5 years ago for New York with a guy that was 15 years older than her. Toward the end of last year she bought a house. It was then that we may have gotten a small hint that she wasn't happy. She came in May for a week long visit and hooked up with a guy she's known for a while and has stayed in touch with. She returned to NY only to come back 3 weeks later for which we all though was another visit. She did not return. Over the past 3 months she has managed to not find a job, run up her credit cards, and not have a place to live. She's called several family members (including me) who have turned her down simply because she's with this guy who if someone kicked the crap out of him may come around. They got asked to leave his crack head mothers house and she went to stay with her mom. Things are strained there for many reasons. I received a call yesterday morning asking if she could come and do her laundry by me. I didn't see a problem. She calls back 5 minutes later and asks if he can also come. I sighed and told her that was fine but I didn't want him hanging out here. They show up, she has a suitcase (freaked me out) but then she begins pulling dirty clothes out of a duffel bag. Not one stitch of the clothes were hers. They sat here for 4 hours while she did his laundry. I tried to busy myself and not listen to their conversations but I heard a lot of excuses for why he isn't working. Dumb, flat-out lazy ass excuses. He tried to include me in the conversation by making the comment that it's so hard to find a good $10.00 or more an hour job. The older and somewhat wiser and been there came out in me. I told them both that you have to start somewhere. $30.00 a day in your pocket is better than nothing.
The story goes on.......

My sister came to pick her up and his Grandma came to pick him up. I hugged my sister for not running either of them over. Off they went. My relief was short lived.
At 4:30 am my husband nudges me and hands me the phone. My sister is raving mad and proceeds to apologize up and down . Niece started a fight with her younger sister and was asked to leave. My sister goes out to her car this morning to go to work and finds niece in her car. They argue. My sister explains that she cannot sit in her car all day while she's at work. She explains that she cannot go back in the house as sister's boyfriend (who rents the apartment) is done with her. To make a really long story short.....
At 5am she was delivered to my doorstep by the police. I chat with them for a few minutes and ask them not to draw opinions when they remark that they could not believe my sister would not get her a hotel room. They leave.
I find niece out on my porch brooding. I sit and talk with her for 2 hours. I spill my pent up guts about the situation. I probe as to how she has not been able to find a job in 3 months. I mention that when I told her about a place that was hiring the day before she said "It's the weekend. I need to distress". She asks me if she could stay here. I mention that fact that she lied to me the day before and prior to that. I don't trust her in my house all day. My husband will divorce me if he comes home from work and finds the two of them lounging in my house. After two hours and a lot of talking I go back to bed.
At 10 am her knight in tarnished armor shows up (driven by grandma) and picks her up. My sister is worried about her but has washed her hands for right now. She has drained her financially and emotionally. This drama is not over...

1 comment:

Hey Jo said...

Family!! If I had my choice I would dump most of them.

Once again it boils down to personal responsibility....or the lack thereof.

Like you said, it is one thing to help someone get back on their feet. We all need help once in a while. But another when those people take advantage of you.