My family made the dreaded trip to the funeral home today. We met outside and all walked in together. I keep trying to hold it together for my parents as they lost their child. They keep trying to comfort us. We managed to make it through all the arrangements without an argument. There were a few areas of disagreement about a certain thing but others were willing to listen in the end we were able to reason things out.
I found today that I've taken some things for granted. This is not the first funeral that I've been along for the arrangement part, but it is the first where I was actively involved. We all lost it a little when picking out prayer cards. I thought I could read it, but half way through thought that this could have been written specifically for my brother. I've picked them up and funerals before and have kept them for memories but I never really read the wording on the card. As I sat there reading it I found a new appreciation for anyone who has ever had to do this. I thought we'd make it through the flower selection without a tear being shed. Mom didn't do to well in this area, which in turn makes the rest of us shed a few.
Since my brother did not have any laid out plans we were forced to take matters into our own hands. This involved a trip to the basement. In the phase that some of us are going through now there were some comments made to "lighten " everyone up. This did help to keep the edge at bay for a few more minutes. Some day maybe I'll be able to write them all down.
We saw a minister in the afternoon to plan the service. We were prompted for good memories. This brought a lot of laughter and tears. We stressed the importance of him speaking to Dave's girls of how much their father loved them.
Tonight was picture board night. I think this helped some of us ease up a little. None of us knew that Dave had so many pictures. His pictures reflected a good life.
With everything we did today I feel that we all had one goal...to try and do what Dave would want.