Friday, March 04, 2011

Words of Wisdom

You would think that by now I'd be a little smarter with dental visits.
At my last exam a month ago I was cavity free. I was happy. I figured barring no emergencies I was good to go for another six months. Things don't always work out the way you plan. It seems my dentist wasn't happy with two older fillings I had and wanted to replace them. One had a crack. Looking on the logical side I thought it best to have these taken care of rather than run the risk of losing one or both of them.

In the past when I ignored these things I've had to make emergency appointments. Thus I shall never again eat another Milk Dud. Pulled a filling right out and left a very painful exposed nerve.

I've had one or two painful experiences with dentists but have faithfully kept appointments and kept up on things for many years now. But I still dread going. My dentist is a pain free guy and looks for your comfort. He's very assuring. I always have the same issues. Can't stand all that stuff in my mouth! I've finally overcome the gag reflex by breathing through my nose. The problem seems to be that when I'm tipped back things run down your throat.

I've written about his assistant before. I was hoping she'd be gone by now. I wonder if she has something on him that is keeping her there. I heard her voice when I was in the lobby and almost bolted. I don't know what is up with this woman but I don't think she's all there.

She came and led me to the room and started a silly conversation about being ill. Then went into how she had the stomach flu so bad and began to describe her lower body portion mishaps. I just stared at her thinking it was not suitable conversation for a professional office. My dentist walked in to her saying "I had to finally send my sister to the store for depends as I was messing myself". His face was priceless. He proceeded to numb me up and then left me with her. I hoped she'd find some other subject to approach and she began to chat about how "back home" they have swap meets. While still chatting the dentist returned and the tubes and other needed things were now in my mouth. He asked her to rinse my mouth and I think she heard "wash her face" cause the water just sprayed all over my face. She was sorry, he was ticked off. I then tried to put my mind anywhere else but there.
I wanted to ask for a blindfold so I wouldn't have to look right into the light. I try not to look right in the dentists face but hate to close my eyes. Her rinsing abilities were horrible and I was close to gagging several times. My "happy place" was not working out to well. She started to ask me questions "What kind of perfume are you wearing?- Where did you get those pretty earrings? What shade of eye shadow is that? Do you have highlights in your hair or is that natural? Each question brought a eyebrow raise from the dentist and a grunt from me. The final straw was "Is that a tatoo you have on your shoulder? WTF? How did she see that?
The dentist, who was trying hard to do his job, then put the drill down looked at her and said "Could we just focus on what is at hand here? I'm sure Aleta enjoys the diversion , but she cannot answer these questions. Please rinse and suction."
There was some quiet for a minute or two and then she began to talk about a TV show about people who go around the US and pick up other peoples junk and sell it. The fillings were going in so I knew it wouldn't be long now. Yap, Yap, Yap...
The final rinse was on it's way. Wait the final rinse was once again a face wash. The dentist gently touched my hand and shook his head. As I was leaving I heard him softly ask her to step into his office. Hopefully she is looking elsewhere for a job.

When I got home I needed to rinse my mouth as things weren't rinsed out very well. Not a good idea with a numb lip and side of your mouth.

I have my fingers crossed that she is long gone in six months.

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